My Very Own DEL-BOY Moment

zool237 (48)in #funny • 6 years ago (edited)

In the 1980s golden age of British comedy, Only Fools and Horses proved to be such a huge hit both home and abroad. For many fans, one of the most memorable characters was Derek 'Del boy' Trotter. I was one such fan and like many, I'll always remember him for one scene above all. But then I have good reason to....

image from the Daily Mail.jpg
image from The Daily Mail (online)

The year was 1992. I was about to start my final year at Newcastle University in the UK and had just recently moved into a new house with a load of mates I'd met back in the first year. It was a large student house but there was a spare room, so we had to quickly look for one last room-mate. Five males (including me) was the initial demographic and it could have been a little intimidating to a woman otherwise, but we were soon successful in enticing a young lady to move in with us, all the same.

She was the ex-girlfriend (a few years earlier) of a student a year older than us who had finished his finals the previous year. So, that was the references all sorted. No-one had a problem with the sweet young lady from Suffolk moving in with us. Her name was Sarah and she was pretty cute, I'd have to admit. I was also quite impressed that she was the niece of the man who founded Private Eye, Britain's leading satirical magazine.

Weeks and the odd month must have passed with every one in the house getting along perfectly. There always seemed to be a party to be going to or, even, had at the house, itself. One night, there was a party at a house just across the road from us. Beers were bought, plans were made. As it was so close, I expect the main plan was to not bother sticking to the other plans. As it was just across the road. We could be nipping back and forth all night, I suppose, individually or in groups, as the fancy took us. It was all perfectly flexible.

Somehow, Sarah and I agreed to head off together so across the road we popped. We didn't know anyone who lived at the house - students will mingle with strangers, won't they? - but we were certainly invited and welcome. We went into the house and it was dark. Pitch black almost. I've never been to a party where they couldn't afford lightbulbs. There must have been candlelight at least as we headed into the living room where the music was playing and the fun was to be had. Where the vast majority of people who were in attendance were likely to be.

I had a four-pack of lager. Approximately 1.76 kg in weight. I can't remember what Sarah took, probably a bottle of wine though, or something similar. The house would have had the approximate design of all the others on the street. So, even in the very dim light, I was not at all too concerned as Sarah and I found a place to stand, comfortably.

Then she spoke. The following, immortal, words:

"As housemates, it wouldn't be a problem if two of us were to have some kind of relationship, would it?"

My heart started skipping. I was fairly sure she meant a heterosexual relationship that would have had to involve her as the female party. And I was fairly confident I was to be the other component.

So, I leant forward with an outstretched hand, aimed just past where her head would have been. To cut off an escape route. To move in for the kiss.

That's when I found that there was an alcove in that house of loud music and low light. I'm pretty sure I didn't hear any warning calls as I fell, spinning, four-pack of beer in hand (no cans opened yet), and tumbled downwards to the floor. But I didn't crash into the floor. I managed to break my fall on a group of four young men who - like typical students - had managed to secret themselves away in the most unexpected place, a tiny area of floor space where absolutely no light must have fallen.

I got up. Gave them my beer as an apology. And trudged off home, alone. Feeling more than a little cursed.