We need music in all bathrooms! People try to poop quietly but it turns out they suck at it

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Im really tired of bathrooms not having music playing. Somebody put this on a ballet, nothing is more awkward then pooping next to your co worker and listing to their butt hole clap, pop, and whistle . Only to return to the office 5 minutes later to make eye contact but not saying anything even though you both know that shit was gross. Anybody know what im talking about?