in funny •  2 years ago 

Fuck my paranoid tendencies to over exaggerate.. there is a war going on on my street. Something that is so mind-blowingly-passive-aggressive-wannabe-middle-class-bullshit. Fucking. Parking. Spaces.

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I live on the end of a row of terrace houses. For Americans.. I think you call them townhouses.. the ones that are just jammed together.. anyway. It's a narrow road, only a few people have actual drive ways, so everyone else just parks their car in front of their house. I guess some families selfishly have two cars and once there was a skip taking up a whole space for like three months. Anyway. I'm quite familiar with the cars of the street.

I'm really good at reverse parking, but because I live on the end of the terrace, I shouldn't have to. It annoys me a little bit when I see a strange car parked in front of my house, especially when there are a lot of other free spaces. When it's busy, like.. I get it. I park in front of other people's houses. Unfortunately for me, it seems like I always need to park way down the street when I have a million things to carry.

One time, I just really wanted to clean up my car, but the spot outside my house was never free at the right time. I am one nervous breakdown away from being that person who is constantly curtain twitching.

So tonight. My car is in it's spot, outside my house. Perfect. I get into my car, cos I was just nipping to the shop. 5 mins max. I see some car hovering in the road behind me, obviously saw me get into my car, wants to take my spot. Hell, I thought. There's a perfectly good space behind me. Just park there. I turn my engine and my lights off. Good ol' fashioned western staredown, but in the car mirrors. The guy relents, he reverses awkwardly into the space a bit up the road. But he is parked. He has a spot. A decent spot.

I go to the shop, I come back; really have not been longer than 5 mins. Turn into my road, and what has that fucker done? Pulled into my spot. Which means I have to gracefully reverse park into the spot he was parked in when I left. This might have been the pettiest thing that's happened to me in ages, and since I didn't see the driver, just gonna have a good ol' online rant.

(and fuck it may have been petty to draw this, just to explain the layout, but I'm considering buying traffic cones)

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it doesn't make sense for him to want your parking spot! UNLESS ... maybe he's really superstitious. maybe something good happened when he was parked there once, and good things keep happening. maybe that spot is MAGIC!!!!!!!!!! ;) LOL

or he's just an ass.

Definitely just an ass. Or ARSE. He had a parking spot. There was no need to take mine..