Thank you Yahoo ad for validating my life long financial strategy!

Thanks to Yahoo I finally get why the Joker did this.

Something just popped up in my Yahoo feed. Why do I still go to Yahoo at all? I have no idea. I am clearly an idiot who has formed a really really really bad habit.

Here it is.





This dude just figured this out now? And he's a millionaire? He is so screwed. Do you know how long it is going to take to get rid of one million dollars? Damn.

I have been following this plan since my freshman year of college.

I would get some cash and would be like "Oh crap! I have cash! I have to get rid of this ASAP!"

Then I would go to a bar and get rid of it as fast as possible. You see, I don't even like beer. But buying 6 pitchers of it seemed like the fastest way to get that nasty stuff away from me.

Actually it was the second fastest. College itself was clearly the fastest. That is why I paid thousands and thousands of dollars to enroll in classes that I would just skip anyway because I was too busy recovering from the previous night's efforts to escape from the overwhelming burden of having too much cash.



Cool I have class in 8 minutes. I will definitely have to pay to take this one over again. Mission accomplished!


After getting rid of as much cash as I could during college, I found a job so I could bring in more of that filthy currency. But with so much coming in, I had to find more efficient ways to get rid of it. So I rented an apartment that was way too expensive for what it was. Then I filled it with crap that I (or no-one) really needed.

Then I bought a fancier car than I needed. It also used a ton of gas so that was another fine way to rid myself of the evil dough.

Still not satisfied with my efforts to escape from the amount of cash I was accumulating, I found a girlfriend.

I thought I had hit the jackpot! Oh no. Not the jackpot. Jackpot would bring in more of that horrible cash. Let's say I thought I had found the absolute best way to piss away tons of money.

But I was wrong.

Paying for a wedding. Now that's the ticket. Not only did I get rid of all of my money, but I actually went into debt so I wouldn't have to worry about escaping from cash for quite a while.



They ordered a Champaign fountain, steak and lobster.


Then you know what the jerks who came to my wedding did? The gave us more freaking money! What jackasses.

We got more and more scared of all of the cash we had. We didn't know what to do.

So we had kids.

That did it.

We never have to worry about that nasty cash again.

If I ever get worried that I have too much, I can always take them to Disney World.



My hero! It is so kind of him to start a place that will take all of that terrible cash off of my hands.