Look out NHL! The U.S. Army is coming after you! (Jim Shorts Reports)
Oh man. I don't know what the Las Vegas Golden Knights did to piss off the U.S. Army but they are screwed. The U.S. Army is one of the fiercest fighting machines ever assembled. I mean I know hockey players are tough, but this is the freaking army!
Sure hockey players can take a punch
Giphy
But the army has guns!
The old "pull the sweater over your opponent's head and punch him in the face" move isn't going to work against this foe.
Even the goalies try to use the sweater.
Giphy
And the new "pull their freaking beard" isn't going to work either because the soldiers aren't allowed to have long beards.
In case you aren't aware of this new move, here it is.
But none of these guys are a match for the full force of the United States Army
Legal Department!
What?
That's right, the U.S. Army has filed a trademark claim against the Las Vegas Golden Knights.
It seems that the team's colors, name and logo are a little too close to the Army's parachute squad of the same name. I am sure it is no accident that there are similarities. After all the owner of the Golden Knights, William Foley is a graduate of West Point.
My guess is that he was trying to honor the Army.
But intentions aside, what the Hell is the army filing legal papers for?
They have freaking guns, bombs, missiles and
TANKS!
If they don't want a team using their names and colors, there is a simple solution:
Kick the shit out of them!
Excuse me. We'd like our name back please. source
You know what though. I used to play hockey. Those tanks... they don't look tough. First I'd hide in the trees. Then I'd set up a puck knucklepuck style like in the Might Ducks movie, take my shot. It would make a ting sound. Everyone would get out because they would think the North Koreans are coming, but they've never seen one, so they want to know what one looks like up close. Then I'd pull their shirts over their heads and uppercut. I know you don't think it would work... but did you ever play hockey?
I've got two words for you: Flying V!
Two more: Totally illegal.
Before I was the regularguy, I was theregularkid and I was the lynchpin of the Flying V.
But you makes some compelling arguments. I think you should go for it!
I'm already practicing my technique on a tractor. So far, the farmer just sits there, on the phone, calling the cops. He has to come out sooner or later. Wait... I hear sirens. I gotta go.
Perfect practice makes perfect. You are dedicated to your craft. I respect that.
...wow nice game