Story Time : First Fart
They say that the biggest step in any relationship is the first fart. Not only is it nerve wrecking but it is also humiliating.
I honestly don't remember the first time Daniel heard me. He didn't say anything or act differently and knowing myself... I tried to play it cool and hoped he didn't hear it. I was mistaken, months later when he did hear it and made a comment, he also said that it wasn't the first time he heard me fart and that it doesn't bug him. (Ahhh love) Fortunately my farts don't really have that much of an odor, they are mostly loud. Daniel makes fun of it now by calling them fizzwoppers. This makes me even more embarrassed which makes him laugh. Fortunately he also calls himself out so I have time to leave the room or reach for the hazmat mask... (figuratively)
This story however is not about myself and Daniel. It's about my sister Theresa and her husband Shane. I can tell this story because I was there. Laughing very loudly at his reaction and then found out for myself why he reacted that way.
This happened a few weeks after both of them ended up in hospital, my sister had her gallbladder removed and was creating dangerous gas because of it. We had been visiting her boyfriend who had been living with his mom at the time. Now his mom is a baker and has a very large L shaped kitchen. At the back by the fridge is where her trashcan is. My sister was getting herself a drink when before she could stop herself she farted. She quickly made her way towards me (I was sitting on the far end of the kitchen by the table facing her and seeing it all). She looked panicked and told me that she farted. I looked at her and told her that I could hear it so I knew. To which she responded that I really didn't, it was a really bad, almost dead smell... In walked Shane.
To my sisters horror he made his way towards the fridge. Standing by the garbage he smelled the effect of my sister. Then screamed out for his mom, asking her if she put anything rotten or dead in the trash. That his girlfriend and girlfriend's sister was there and it is disgusting. He also took the trash out... The smell stayed. At this point I lost it and started laughing. My sister punched my shoulder to try and get me to stop. Her eyes where huge and she was blushing so much that I could feel the heat coming from her cheeks.
He came back and went back to the fridge to get himself a drink... The smell still present let him know that something was up. When he looked at me giggling and my sister blushing he knew... She had to admit that it was her. To this day this story gets brought up every time a couple has their first fart around them... Like I said before, love. He still married her after that.
I realize that it isn't very ladylike to joke about farts, but I agree with Andy Samberg. Feel free to have a little bit of a giggle.
xoxo
@thegoldencookie