A Short Comedy About A Backwards Universe, This One?

“Just look at us. Everything is backwards, everything is upside down. Doctors destroy health, lawyers destroy justice, psychiatrists destroy minds, scientists destroy truth, major media destroys information, religions destroy spirituality and governments destroy freedom.” ― Micheal Ellner

Everything is backwards, we’ve got the Department of Defense refusing to slow down on the offense, the D.O.D playing G.O.D. War after war and preparation for more war, it’s like pulling teeth to get them to go through a entire day without doing anything that isn’t WW3 related, it's impossible, it can't be done.

When they're not poking at Russia, or putting sanctions on Iran, you'll usually find them trying to start wars in Syria, Libya, or anything that ends with the letters "istan".

Even on a weak Sunday you’ll find them sending drones to blow the shit out of wedding parties.

Luckily, you’ve got the Department of Homeland Security and their quest for protecting the citizens, they do their research and find out that cancer is the biggest cause of death in America, so they start protecting the public from anything but: Barber shops, lemonade stands, guitar factories... You name it, they've raided it.

Which brings us to cops, what to say about cops? Not much, serve, protect and shoot you in the ass if you run in the wrong direction. Rare is the week where no cop 'accidentally' kills some unarmed citizen, which sometimes causes even more people to protest and get themselves arrested.

Those days are like Carnival season for Police Departments who bless the occasion to parade in mine resistant vehicles and dress as if they were auditioning for Robocop.

"At least the economy is recovering" one often hears in television... First of all, you would think that by definition the recovery can never be worse than the recession, but hey! It's a backwards universe, right? How else would you explain attaching the label "Land of the free" to the biggest prison population the world has ever seen?

"The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards.

You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school.

You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating... ...and you finish off as an orgasm." ― George Carlin.