The Six O’Clock News Translated Into Disconcertingly Frank Speech

A brutally honest news report without the use of deceptive euphemisms. 

Authoritative Looking Male Figure:  Good evening, passive followers, this is a half hour mind and emotion manipulation program sponsored by the corporatocracy.  I’m an overpaid teleprompter reader with an authoritative voice.

Comforting Female Figure:  And I’m the comforting female figure with some added sex appeal, who also reads a teleprompter.     

Authority:  In the leading opium producing region of the world today, two mind-controlled order followers wearing uniforms and who were invading the private property of a local family, were killed by the father of that family, who was using righteous self-defense.    

Humans that leach off the rest of humanity via extortion, are routinely bribed, are sometimes pedophiles, and try to boss around all of the people they leach off, voiced their displeasure about this today in the District of Criminals.    

One of them said, “It’s offensive that one of our order followers was killed by someone I consider to be sub-human, and I pledge to send more violent order-following mercenaries to achieve the objectives of my occult masters and to win political points from the people in my local district that I leach off of.”

Comfort:  One of the central fraud mechanisms of the centrally planned global economy experienced a fully controlled 666 point plunge today in order to scare the living daylights out of the vast majority of you listening.    

A ruthless banker from an old money family who wins no matter what, because those in his social circles are the ones that caused the plunge, gave an arrogant and nonchalant quote regarding the issue, “Even if my family or associates really did lose any big money, we’d just have another violence-backed theft conducted by our totalitarian mafia in DC in order to prop up our fraudulent institutions.”   

He then took a sip of $1,000 champagne and grinned like The Cheshire Cat.     

Authority:  A clown-looking puppet of the dark occult parasite class, who lives in a huge extortion-funded White House in the District of Criminals, was in a violently-controlled tax farm known as China today.    

He had a conversation with a psychopath who claims the right to boss around all Chinese people, wears fancy suits, and lives on extortion-funded property in Beijing.    

The two talked about the fat little dictator in a tiny hellhole called North Korea.  They said that sending millions of mind-controlled order followers to murder each other in North Korea was certainly an option.    

They could neither confirm nor deny enjoying ski trips in Switzerland with the fat little dictator.    

Comfort:  We’re now going to show you some cute puppies.   

We’re showing you these cute puppy dogs in order to manipulate your emotions further.  Studies by social engineers have confirmed that too much bad news must be counteracted by good news in order to keep the passive viewer comfortable in their mind-controlled environment.    

We’ll now take a short break so you can watch some social-engineering propaganda from one of our billionaire sponsors.    

Commercial Voice:  Has the system got ya down? Feeling tired, depressed, and inadequate? Having too much stress from living in the matrix tax slave system, with its never ending hoops to jump through and constantly changing regulations?   

Take the latest overpriced opioid from Jerck Pharmaceuticals, ForgetEx.  It will put you in a drug-induced fog to ensure that you can mindlessly go on about your day and never make any real, positive changes, which will in turn help maintain the power of the dark occult parasite class.    

Side effects might include, but are not limited to:  Rapid heart rate, slow heart rate, homicidal thoughts, hallucinations, death, near-death, uncomfortable numbness, fun numbness, diabetes, vital organ failure, extreme cravings for junk food, passive aggressive behavior, road rage, and total lack of initiative

Authority:  Welcome back.  We turn your attention now to another fear-based story.  This one involves some violent mind-controlled people with badges who are funded by extortion.  They violently invaded the private property of individuals who were engaged in growing and selling plants.  These plants are used for medicinal and recreational purposes, but are violently prohibited for social control purposes.    

The violent people with badges stormed onto the private property, abused the property owners, stole their stuff, lied about stealing their stuff, shot their dog, threw them in a cage, and are now being praised by their so-called bosses for continuing the violent suppression of individual human rights.    

One of the so-called bosses of the violent badge toting thugs said, quote, “This is another great victory for the totalitarian police state and helps secure my evil, sickening parasite job for the foreseeable future.”

Comfort:  That about wraps it up for this evening.  We invite you to stay tuned for the winning lottery drawing, because we know we just made you feel fearful and powerless and now need something to feel good about, like the false hope of winning a ton of violence-backed federal reserve notes.  Goodnight.

Authority:  Goodnight.    

Thanks for your time and attention!

Just say "NO" to slavery!

Top image is from pixabay

Cute puppies courtesy of maxpixel.freegreatpicture.com