Thanks for the response. And I agree, it needs editing. I hope it isn't shameful to say, but I am posting notes/first drafts of a larger piece here to gauge response, see how it flows, etc, so your comments are warmly welcomed. I'd love to join your DnD style game! I don't know if you are familiar with the movie Gamers: Dorkness Rising, but I edited that film. It's made by genuine gamers and lovers of role RPGs, not at all a derogatory or mocking film. You might like it.