Recreational Outrage at Emojis! For Cat Lovers! 🐈
The last blog entry on this Steemit feed included an off-the-cuff comment about "shaving a cat" that inspired a bevy of beauties from Canada 🇨🇦 to France 🇫🇷 To the Netherlands (waiting for your wit @bettyboob!) to offer their commentary on this sacred practice.
@artwatch, PLEASE make a full post out of your comment from yesterday; The whole world NEEDS to KNOW!
If you're someone who like cats, and odds are that you do, this "Recreational Outrage at Emojis" post is dedicated to you...
They're soft, they're playful, they like to get high (on catnip), they're low maintenance, and they LOVE the smell of tuna.
What's not to love?
Not at the sheer number of cats, suggesting a population problem that extends into the emoji-verse;
This umpteenth example of sadistic intent, on the part of the emoji makers, is demonstrated by the choice of emoji to preface the feral horde of felines that follow:
Do you see what they did?
Do you know why they did it?
Do they carry no shame or fear of consequence?!?
They're laughing at cat lovers everywhere, with a particularly cruel twist of the knife to the hearts of Canadians who consider their little toxoplasmosis incubators a part of the family.
To those blissfully ignorant of the hard and cruel truth, stop reading now and go about your merry way.
To those who already know...
Proceed with full knowledge of something that has already left a stain on your soul, and you can't resist another peek.
If you know not of what I speak, and choose to read on, your curiosity is to blame for what enters your eyes next...
As we have all been warned in childhood:
Curiosity killed the cat.
Or rather, these:
Means ONLY one thing.
As every Canadian knows, it can get bloody well cold in the Great White North, eh?
WHEN is Hallowe'en?
Yeah, October 31st.
Know what day November 1st is?
The Day of the Dead 💀
In both Mexico 🇲🇽 AND in Canada 🇨🇦.
For very different reasons.
In Canada, every Hallowe'en, the house cats invariably escape outside when the legion of little beggars continually come to your door.
The awesome Jack'O'Lanterns 🎃 are all outside, lit up by candles, and everything's groovy.
UNTIL it gets late, everyone goes to bed, and the poor kitties get cold...
Where do you think they go?
WHERE IT'S WARM!
They crawl into the Jack'O'Lanterns, candle burned out, and they have a new, warm, safe place to sleep for the night.
The next morning, the children of the Canadian villages, all across the great northern plain, rise bright and early to walk to school.
The more unruly children, the ones bound for juvee, likely to achieve criminal records, and later become successful businessmen and millionaires, will pick up the Jack'O'Lanterns and throw them as far and as high as they can towards the road.
OFTEN WITH A SLEEPING TOONCES
Many a time I have warned my younger brother, while walking to school the day after Hallowe'en, not to trip over any pieces of pumpkin or cat in the road... 😔
Darn you, emoji makers!
For summoning forth such wicked memories of my brother, tripping over that formerly overweight tabby, so long ago!!!
So there it is.
Yet another example of the sick and twisted humour the emoji makers demonstrate, to their own wretched delight at the deep and personal sufferings of our past...
At least you learned some Canadian Cultural Lore as a small, token benefit.
Drop that knowledge at a party!
I can pretty much guarantee you this will be new knowledge for everyone listening.
In honour of all the dead cats who died on Hallowe'en:
Have an awesome Wednesday Steemit!