Deadpool 2 : A Love Story... Comedy Open Mic Round #14, 2nd Submission 😀

Yes, it's true! This is a great date movie, whether you've been married for decades or it's only your second date, and you're not quite at the "Netflix and Chill" stage.

Taking your lady out for dinner and a movie demonstrates your ability to follow normative social conventions before you both get home and regress into wild animals.

On 9 trillion thread-count Venusian cotton sheets on your Sleepmaster bed, of course.

That crusty old couch your roommate left behind might have passed muster when you could watch re-runs of The Cosby Show on tv, but ever since that program title took on a new meaning, men everywhere have progressed to a higher paradigm, where "getting consent" is a very important stage when wooing the fairer gender.

This movie is wonderful.

Deadpool 2 is a movie about gender equality, racial equality, good triumphing over evil, and honoring one of the most iconic scenes in movie history.

The movie also co-stars Brad Pitt as one of the super heroes!

I'm 100%, absolutely serious!

You definitely want to see this movie in a theater.

If you're budget conscious, that's great!
Take a parent, grandparent, or a random geriatric mall-dweller to the ticket stand with you.
You could buy two senior tickets for a deep discount to a later show, ditch the fossil, and see the show by yourself later on the cheap!

Senior discounts won't be around for long: Projections are for 21% of the population being over 65 by the year 2030.

In unrelated news, sales projections for incense and air fresheners are expected to TRIPLE by the year 2030.

Deadpool 2 is bringing together cultures from all over the world.

Here, some of the fans of Deadpool 2 who came to see their personal hero from the movie, Dopinder:

The cinematic triumph of Deadpool 2 demonstrates its maturation as a legacy series that makes almost more money than God (spoiler alert), domestically, anyway.

This maturation was illustrated by elevating the role of Dopinder from just driving a cab 🚕 in the first Deadpool, to now both driving a cab AND wielding a mop in Deadpool 2!

Powerful Dopinder!

Dopinder also shows his strength of courage and lust for justice by being the REAL hero of the movie, and kills the main villain at the end with the special, unique weapon of choice his culture is most adept at wielding.

Deadpool 2 is really a family movie.

I say this because this movie is so funny that you and your date will laugh so much, you'll probably have sexy time after watching it.

If you aren't careful, sexy time may lead to baby time, which may lead to find the father avoiding child support payments time.

That's the kind of family movie Deadpool 2 is.
Don't bring your toddler.

They won't understand most of the humor, and you will have wasted the $12 that you could have used to buy condoms 5 years ago, while you're stuck 'babysitting' by court mandate while your ex is off banging Dale from the office, who used to be your best friend...

Deadpool 2 is also a movie about gender equality.

As a white male, anything more said about that is now considered 'virtue signaling,' so I won't say anything more about that.

#menext

This is my second contribution to the comedy openmic Round #14, and I nominate @artwatch and @jaybird --- 2 of my favorite Canadian Steemians 🇨🇦😀

I also have a bonus nomination for @hanshotfirst, who got me even more excited to see Deadpool 2 than I already was! He isn't following me (yet) hence the "bonus" nomination, out of

Thanks for that @themadgoat!

Rules are found here:
https://steemit.com/comedyopenmic/@comedyopenmic/comedy-open-mic-comedy-contest-round-14

Thanks for reading, thanks for laughing, and thanks for helping to solve the world population problem by getting yourself spayed or neutered.

@scan0017 😘