Conversations With Bud:

Me: Go away. I'm still angry at you.
Bud: For last night? I didn't like those people.
Me: They were guests. And you were rude.
Bud: They called me "doggie".
Me: Just trying to be sociable...
Bud: ... and they patted me on the head. MY HEAD!
Me: Not everyone knows your rules of etiquette. Besides, you were horrible at the dinner table! Begging like a...
Bud: ...excuse me. I was ah-dorbs. And what did I get for my efforts? Zero. Zip. Nada. Bupkas.
Me: You have lousy manners.
Bud: You have lousy guests.