A Greek Mythological Tale. Zeus and the Barber.

Zeus always likes to look his best. As the God of all Gods he has to look important, well styled and dressed for his fellow Gods. Every week Zeus has his beard and hair trimmed at his local barbers. He is very particular about his hair cut. It has to be every week and only trimmed by half a centimeter. 

On this particular day, Zeus prepares for his outing and puts on his fine white linen clothes, so all his admirers can see him looking his best. As he arrives he enters the shop to find a young man greeting him instead of his regular barber John.

“Hey..... you must be Zeus. My name is Nathan, I'll be cutting your hair today”

Zeus looks on in horror.“ You certainly won’t be young man…………..only John cuts my hair. Where is he I demand to see him”

“Sorry Zeus,  john's on his hols. He’s on a retreat to…”

“It's God to you....well why didn’t I know about this? He should run any retreats by me first. He knows how important my image is”

“Zeus...God... i mean....obvs.... I can guarantee I will cut your hair professional. You will look phat man!"

"How dare you....!"

"No man...listen... phat means good....like cool...yeah? All the other Gods will be well jel, you'll be like a new God!"

“I don’t want to be a new God I want to be an old God….. I mean I want to be me…..myself.”

“I can do that. Sit down bruv....all will be fine!"

Zeus was dubious but took a seat. Nathan picked up his scissors as if he was starting to cut Zeus’s hair.“Wait…………………….young man I only have half a centimetre taken off. No more no less. Half a centimeter of my head and half a centimeter from my facial hair too”

“Ok a centimeter off head and beard”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…………………half a centimetre,……………..and its not a beard, its facial hair!”

“Ok you're Godliness....no problem....chill...all is well!"

 Nathan started to cut Zeus’s hair. Zeus started to relax, thinking about his chores for the rest of the day. As Nathan finished he brushed of Zeus’s shoulders and removed his cloak. Zeus opened his eyes and looked at his new hair cut.

“What have you done?” he roared across the salon, making all the shelves shudder

“I did as you told me too God. 1 centimeter from the head and from your beard………I mean facial hair”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO………………………….half a centimetre! I look ridiculous. I’m going to be the laughing stock of the kingdom”

“Ahhhh man......... it doesn’t look any different from before.”

“Now you try to insult my intelligence…………………….Young man you will be punished”With that Zeus used his godly powers “You will now know what it’s like to not have enough hair. Nathan looked in the mirror. His head shone in the reflection of the mirror, his thick black hair had now gone.

“Good day young man. I hope you have learnt your lesson.” Zeus stormed out of the shop and hurried home before anyone spotted him. He rushed upstairs and found the only hat in the house. It was one of Hera's with a flower on it. Hera came home to find Zeus sat at the table with a floppy hat on.

“Husband, what are you doing wearing my hat?”

“Wife, I have had the most awful day.” He explained to his wife about Nathan the barber.

“That is awful but can I ask you something?”

“Yes wife, go ahead.”

“Why, did you not use your powers to grow your hair back?”

Zeus looked at his wife. “I wonder wife, who is the most intelligent in the house.”

Hera laughed as Zeus grew his hair back.

The end