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RE: Haffanower: The Completely Fukt Edition
My feedback: the toilet is a masterpiece. Prickly bur bur is fun and very expressful. Peacemaker a bit annoying. The plot is not very strong, that is the reason you had to stop. Work more on plots in future and you will get great results!
The reason I stopped was because it became clear to me, at the time, nobody was interested. The plot was just starting to thicken. I had only just begun introducing characters. Also, references to current events at the time were in full effect and in order to keep that going, I wasn't able to plan too far ahead. I was attempting to add improvised style comedy to this entire thing, not a micromanaged and overly calculated approach. This was designed to be crude and ridiculous.
This is a good start, I encourage you to try it more, with a well thought plot. Style comedy has to be practiced too! You are doing great, there is talent there. Just practice!
I don't think it's wise to attempt releasing small portions of something like this, piece by piece, as I did before. It's far too confusing for new folks and even long time followers who may have missed an episode or two. Basically, I learned, telling a story in this fashion doesn't work well here. So, rather than doing the same thing until I got bored of failing, I stopped while I was ahead and switched up my game. Now look where that decision led me.
If I had time to write an entire movie, it would be completely different than what we see up there.
This plot comment...
So basically, back in 2016 and even earlier, Insane Clown Posse's fans were all entered into a database by the FBI and were ALL labelled gang members. I pointed that out at the start. I then switch gears from being a blogger who's writing an article to a person who's getting food. The delivery guy mistakenly loses a work of art. The Peace. The FBI, according to them, in real life, doesn't want art just floating around and falling into the wrong hands because they deemed art unfit for society. Really! They did that!
I spun that absurdity into a cast of fucked up characters attempting to get their art back from the police. This story, as it sits here now, was unfinished. It was only beginning. I was also incorporating other elements. It was experimental. I was attempting to make it a story about something while adding in bits to make it a story about nothing at the same time. Each portion was designed to tie into the main story line all while offering it's own little bit of entertainment value for that individual post. It's hard to explain what I wanted to accomplish by doing all this. I knew nothing like it had ever been done before though.
This past September, in 2017, that march I mentioned actually did take place. Those fans stood up for themselves and their favorite artform. This story was to lead up to those events, as well as carry on once I was able to witness the aftermath.
That day, in Washington, more Juggalos showed up to their rally than Trump supporters showed up to a Trump rally down the street. There's so much more to this story than you realize and there was a solid plot.