Dogs or cats? Which one should you get?
Do you want to get a pet?
Are you lonely and want to fill the void left by your ex in your heart by a furry animal?
Are you depressed because no one likes you and you would rather be with animals than with other fellow humans?
Fear not! Today we are going to answer the life long question that man has been perplexed about since the beginning of time.
Which pet is better, dogs or cats?
Let's analyse each faction carefully.
Dogs
Also known as doge, doggo or floof, these are furry creatures which belong to the canine family. They are faithful and loyal to you as long as you treat and train them well. Untrained dogs may shit on your carpet, eat your shoes, urinate everywhere and destroy your sofa but it is worth the cute faces they make and their unconditional love for their whole life.
Size: Ranges from smaller than a soccer ball to a full sized wolf.
Strength: Making cute faces and has teeth that can break your bones in a single bite.
Requirements: Requirements range from just food and hair brushes to your sleep, your soul, your attention 24/7, 50,000$ in healthcare, 50,000$ in furniture and apparel damages, and your hands getting dirty cleaning their shit.
Weakness: Will accept food from strangers making them less efficient guard dogs.
Perks: Can learn amazing tricks like attract humans of the opposite gender, and other tricks ranging from handshakes to friggin backflips.
Cheats: You can use "good boy" and "good girl" to make them do what you want to a small aspect.
Beware: They may love you so much that you end up being devastated by their death.
Cats
Also known as catto or "the devil himself" these are also furry creatures but they belong to the feline family. They are very opposite to dogs. You can train them as well but their willingness depends on them. Although you may think you're the boss, you're not. The cat is the real boss and you need to oblige to its needs.
According to popular beliefs, it has nine lives and is constantly waiting for you to die so that it can eat you.
Size: Relatively small but if you want one of the exotic ones like a tiger or a lion, you'll need a lot of space to accommodate them. You'll also need cages otherwise it'll just devour you, but if you are a normal human being you'll want a regular house cat which doesn't take up much space.
Strength: Excellent at catching rats and other smaller animals, can bitchslap dogs, 0 hp fall damage, can scratch your eye off.
Requirements: Unlike dogs, they don't require much apart from food, a few toys, something to scratch and fragile objects to throw off the table.
Weakness: Will poop inside the house, they throw up more often.
Perks: Even if you don't come home in 2 days, it'll just be fine. They don't require much attention and you would not have to worry about pests.
Cheats: Use cat nip to get them high and calm down.
Beware: They may unexpectedly bite or scratch you.
Now let's get back to our question. Which one should you get?
It depends on what kind of person you are.
If you are timid and want to feel like you're in charge so that you'll forget what a loser you are in real life, get a dog.
Whereas, if you are strong willed and dominant and don't want the approval of an animal to feel good, and don't require a pet too clingy get a cat.
If you made it to the end leave an upvote and comment which one you prefer.
Have a very prosperous year ahead!
Images are sourced unless under CC0 license
Edit: This is just humour, you're not supposed to take this seriously.
I too don't prefer any pet. Moreover, I'm against anyone who either keep pets or approves of keeping them (unless they are rescued ones).
Why not?
Well, captivating any animal amounts to animal cruelty. Every being on this planet has their own fundamental right to freedom. What more, when you purchase any pet, you promote their breeding and slaughter / euthanasia of unsold & unwanted puppies. Ever heard of puppy mills?
BTW, this year Indian government has already put a ban on the import of exotic breeds of dogs. And domesticating big cats is illegal in most countries.
Moreover, what will you feed your pet? Some dogs can be raised on a vegan diet but most dogs and all cats are carnivorous. So you will be responsible for killings of other animals like chicks & fishes to feed and support one animal. This is being specieist when one kills and exploits one species of animal but supposedly loves another species ...highly illogical!
I'm not advocating "buying" a pet in any way. It's better if it is a stray or a rescue. And keeping a pet isn't captivating them, it's not like you would put a dog inside a cage for ever, that is downright cruel.
As for the vegan thingy, it is hard to argue about. It just comes down to one's food preferences and there is 'food chain' as well.
If you ain't advocating buying,it's great but i didn't find anything like this mentioned explicitly here, so I made a general assumption. Sorry for that!
Secondly, when you speak of keeping an animal as a pet, it is primarily for the owner's own selfish interest (like guarding, companionship etc. you had already mentioned here) whereas adoption of a rescued animal does not have an owner-pet relationship. It's more of an adopted-child & guardian / parent kinda relationship. But still, whenever you are domesticating an animal, inspite of all welfare measure you take, you still try to put several controls on them and make them behave as per your own wish. You are also responsible for separating them from their own family & tribe. They are generally provided an unnatural environment and diet. It's not about more cruelty or less cruelty but cruelty in intrinsic in domesticating any animal.
And I dunno why you feel so hard to argue about vegan thingy! All this food chain logic is a mere defense. Almost all of the pet "food" is prepared from farmed animals. All animal farming is a continuous torture and exploitation of that animal right from his / her birth until it becomes someone else's food (mostly in her very young age). There's no natural food chain involved. Victim has no opportunity to make any defense for her life. The slaughters involved in hatcheries for breeding those farmed animals is also not taken into consideration for this food chain argument.
I prefer neither :D
Me also but interesting topic tho..
I don't judge you for it. Just kidding, I do.
:)) so, so. I think dog is better
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.... it is so funny 😂
:p
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I would say definitely get a dog. 😉