Why I like dogs

The car screeched to a halt and my eyes went up even as the glass rolled down. What my eyes saw was the most beautiful face my eyes have ever rested had the luxury of seeing.

“Please, can you point to me the direction of Lyndale’s spa?“
Her British accent was impeccable and it was only her raised voice that that jeered me back to my consciousness.
“Ehnn… which bank again?“ I asked now sounding completely moronic. She gawped at me as though she had just seen the ghost of her dead grandmother.
“I'm sorry I didn't get you the first time.”

She sighed and spoke again. This time she was slower. “Lyndale’s spa!“

“It's that way,“ I said pointing to an imaginary location which I knew she wouldn't get. I wasn't going to allow her just go like that.

“See… why don't we just go together.”
She frowned and I couldn't help noticing how more enchanting she looked with the red lipstick she had worn that matched perfectly the thigh- high camisole she had on. I just couldn't let her go. Thank heavens I was putting on the new cologne Damilare bought for my birthday last week. That, plus my brand new 'Okrika' jeans and I was ready to be a male slayer. There was no need bothering about the already flat palm I had on. I don't think she'll care.

“I can't just point it out, it's not that easy to locate.“

She gave me an intense soul-searching stare that for a while I thought she was clairvoyant.
“Alright. Hop in and let's go!“
I bounced to the right and waited for her to get in. She sashayed with her high heels and got in. With the press of a button, the door, the only thing delaying the mission now unlocked.

Getting in, I stylishly sucked in the scented air inside her car. The air conditioning was at its peak and I pretended I was cool even though I was almost freezing.

“Just take this way,” I pointed as the car rolled to life. I was already imagining our life together and all the things that could happen between us when a touch to my back brought me back from my reverie. I turned to her but her eyes were glued to the road.

She couldn't possibly have touched me
Then I looked back.

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On the chair, sat upright was the biggest, blackest dog I've ever seen. It's tongue dangled out of its mouth with its eyes fixed on mine that I didn't know when I recited the rosary though I've never been a Catholic. I meant to say the Lord’s prayer but shit happens.
The lady turned to look at me when she noticed my mouth moving.
“Oh, I see you have met Theodore, my best friend.“
I didn't, couldn't turn my eyes away from the dog for obvious reasons.

Bobo, they said you will die because of a woman, you didn't listen

Bids of sweat began rolling down my face. I couldn't even bring myself to wipe them off. Didn't know what toppled this capon’s mood.

“She gets jealous too often when I'm with someone else “
My eyes widened and suddenly I noticed watery movement in my manly area. I swallowed what was left of my saliva. I noticed that it's panting has increased.

“Has it eaten?“ I asked. My shaky voice managing to escape her.

“No, the vet said to reduce her frequency of feeding so as to put to check her recently surfaced tendency to bite.“

My pants got wetter. My face was now all but drenched in sweat. She continued without noticing my condition.
“I've been really worried. She's been biting everything at sight. Shoes, books, even tried biting granny's legs.” At this point an unintended sob escaped my mouth. She turned to look at me and was shocked.
“Are you alright?“

My heart literally came to my mouth

I turned slowly to face her. Her face distorted into a frown.
“Yes, I'm not sicking fine. Please, open the door. Belly was doing me.”

She was still in shock as she opened the door. I readied myself as I put a hand on the handle. I heard the dog grunt and with an alacrity that not even Flash or Zoom can boast of, I peeled off not even looking back to see if my hundred naira lunch money had fallen.

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