Santa Came Early In Your Ass
Ho! Ho! Ho!
Santa screamed as he called Mrs. Claus names.
Santa! You've been drinking again! You told me you'd stop!
Shrieked Mrs Claus.
Ah shut up your mouth! I'm not drunk and to prove it, I'll give everyone on STEEM billions upon trillions of dollars!
Santa! We can't afford it!
The hell we can't!
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And that's the story
about how I became a trillionaire just in time for Christmas.
Have a nice day.
yes, as soon as I logged in to Steemit this morning and saw how unbelievably wealthy I'd become, I immediately called my boss to quit.
just imagine how much more unbelievably wealthy I'll be once Steem goes back up to a reasonable value!
You're going to buy mountains. You're going to blow all your money on freakin' mountains!
I'm off to a great start. This is all mine now: https://www.fs.usda.gov/psicc. All of it is mine
Your backyard rocks. I bought the neighbors lawn and now I pay him to mow it because for some reason he was too lazy before.
I'm fortunate to live where I do. It's also nice because you only have to mow your lawn like twice a year.
That's what happens when Santa uses the back door instead of the chimney.
That's exactly what happened there!
Though I might change the name of the art later to something more delightful.
I think with all my new xmas money I shall buy Pee Wee Herman's bike; which he claims is not for sale.
How much are planning on offering?
A million trillion dollars. My dad says everything's negotiable.
That could buy Peewee a lot of theaters to whack off in.
LOL, Paul texted me a screenshot of his 700 billion dollars, yes, he got 7. I figure it's all good that it didn't happen to me, my friends will share ;)
Scratch that, mine says 500 billion, I'm all set.
You're only a billionaire? Ew. Here, peasant, have a comment upvote.
This whole time we thought that .43 was based on USD when it was actually bitcoin, who knew?
I already bought too much blow to be able to comprehend what's happening here.
Lmao this one is African prince Santa
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Every version of Santa is such a saint...
Yes we all woke up to new account balances. And it's not even April Fools. If only it were true.
My balance is quite a bit higher than it was yesterday. Tomorrow, I might buy Lamborghini, the company, just for fun.
I thought about buying Bill Gates and Oprah, building a nice mansion, then using them to play a lifelike round of The Sims.
Hey buy Utube too, so we can all watch.
I have a better idea.
I'll buy trillions of tiny mirrors. When precisely angled, they will project the image of all things happening on every wall in existence.
Two words. Free cable.
What a nice little addition to our balances. It reminds me of a conversation I had with a VC who refused to invest in companies run by kids.
I ran a company when I was a kid. I started out selling used toy cars, then moved up to selling cigarettes and watered down vodka.
Nothing at all wrong with kids running companies - I encourage that. They just shouldn't have expectations of big money from real investors.
A great day for some art of the Lambos we will buy with our new found wealth!
I'm going to buy every citizen of the United States a lifetime supply of turkey, because apparently, that's what they like today.
i'm going to donate it all to the turkeys so they have a chance against the citizens
I'll hire some secret intelligence chickens to stop the shipment from happening.
I think so Santa gave us that money, Christmas is near hohohohoho
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