I Think I'm Constiposted
Push
Constiposted
When you've been able to post regularly, everyday, for weeks if not months. Then, quite suddenly, no matter how hard you try, a new post simply won't come out.
There's a strong chance I may be suffering from this debilitating condition. It's not painful, it simply sucks, and it's not a good idea to force it.
Or maybe, it's all in my head. When you're exposed to enough brainwash in the form of television commercials about diseases you've never heard of and the magic pill that will cure them all while causing any number of other health concerns, it's easy to start feeling sick.
Maybe I have constipartion.
Constipartion
When you're able to create numerous works of wondrous art regularly, everyday, for weeks if not months. Then, quite suddenly, no matter how hard you try, a new art simply won't come out.
I might have that too. Don't let this new work of art fool you. It doesn't fool me.
The TV, magazines, a few Steemit posts, some stuff on Facebook, Dr. Oz... they all tell me I'm sick.
I need help. Pills. Many pills. I need to call work and tell them I won't be in today. I need a cold cloth on my head and some soup. I have a sore toe. A hair fell out. These are probably symptoms. I should not take this sitting down. I should act now and call my doctor right away.
Maybe I'm just a neologist, and need to relax.
So many questions, not enough answers.
Call your doctor at once! (...and try to have a good day.)
Hahahahahaha... Nice puns...
Let Dr. @creatr prescribe some good pillz for your illz...
How about BaarnLauft, in convenient horsey-size capsule form, guaranteed to help you eject your backlogged post-all matter, quite art-fully, in cowflop-sized patties?
( Caution: In some cases, BaarnLauft will exacerbate your symptoms, ultimately resulting in poster-art explosions from all body cavities when you least expect them. Your mileage may vary. Not available this side of the Missy-Sippy, nor can you buy it on the other. But we'll give you enough to get you hooked for life!
Side effects include, but are not limited to, headburn, heartache, nauseating punnish-meants, minty breath, and those ever-so-sneaky and surprising "fatal events" that we hear so much about on TV - just ask your dock-tor about BaarnLauft!).
😄😇😄
Commentstipation
When someone writes an amazing comment on your blog, but no matter how hard you try, a proper response simply will not come out.
I hope I'm not allergic to BaarnLauft.
I think I need some.
Thank you for your approbation... :D
I'll try to hook you up with the appropriate pusher, and yes, I will attend your wake. ;)
I can't wait to start living my new, healthy, regular life!
Watch out... If you are allergic, you may come out extra crispy...
Maybe it would be a good idea to ask your friend for a little side order of pain relief.
This is literally the first time in ages that I had to look a word up--an English word anyway. I pride myself on my extensive vocabulary. And even knowing what pedant meant was not quite enough (usually enough context gives me the meaning of a word without checking it out, and in fact you gave PLENTY of context, I just didn't put it together. I'll blame my lack of sleep.)
So you gave me a TIL. My grandma was convinced that the key to avoiding senility was learning something new every day, exercising that brain so it didn't start to atrophy.
Oh, I should probably mention the word I didn't know was not constiposted, or even constiparted, and even if those were the words you defined them really well so if I would have had to look them up I might seriously begin to question my intelligence. Um, if I had attempted to look them up I should probably question my intelligence, hee.
So for the rest of those who may come upon this post and not know the meaning of this word, here it is:
neologism. n. "practice of innovation in language.
For being constiposted this piece was clever to the point of brilliance.
Edit: I'm really surprised Howie has never called me a neologist because I'm pretty famous around this house for 'word innovation'. Also, resteemed.
That sellout Stephen Colbert isn't the only one who gets to make up words to get laughs. At least now I have something in common with him though. Our words are number one google hits. I don't care about how he got paid three million more than me. As for neologism, I'm not certain, but I think it's a relatively new word. A word made up to describe making up words. It's about damn time! The pedants are the ones who typically cease innovation, though on the surface feel like they are doing the world a great service. Yes, I did hide some brilliance within. Thanks for noticing!
That's so awesome! Don't worry, one day you'll be getting paid the big bucks for it too :)
Fitting, as my initial thought was of a cosmic kitty bum when I first saw that image...
I can't even attempt to describe that image. Seriously. I don't know where my mind went today and pushing doesn't help.
On a happy note, I did manage to get Constiposted on google today. It went number 1! Lucky!
Some times the creative juices flow, other times a post beats the stuffin's out of me. I've been working on one forever now. Got to get it out before the snows fall. Congrats on the Googleism. Luck'nSkillz.
I have tried to motivate myself this whole week but I am also stuck in a rut...I am just constirritated with myself...
I'm still churning things out, but it's getting harder and harder everyday. My timing has been off as well. I just put whatever out there and keep hoping for the best. I have many avenues to explore. When I can't think of something, This Man can always pull up a chair and tell a story. Those characters help. I think that's why so many used them over the years.
You are a very talented artist and entertainer. People still love you no matter what you do...
Thank you. What nice things you say!
Hmmm perhaps I am a nice person...lol!
All you need is a few beers, it cures anything!!
I could certainly go for a cold one, but then all I'll want to do is laze around in the sun and drink...which might not be a bad thing!
And while you are sitting lazing around with the smooth cold golden liquid flowing down your throat, the creative juices might just start flowing again.
Now that is funny!
You made up a new word especially for Steemians!
This has happened to me -- one week the posts are just pouring out,
and then I'm stuck.
Even though I managed to get this little bit out, I'm still feeling the effects. As Canadians, you'd think this would be the time of year when our brains finally thaw and we can begin thinking clearly again, but nope! Not happening this year!
Sometimes it's just a good proverbial fart that keeps shit moving.
So that's why they call them brain farts!
Everything makes so much sense now!
I've been having constipostion too.
Society really needs to sit down and start taking this seriously! I wonder how many others are suffering behind closed doors, afraid to come out? Someone responsible should start a support group.
lol...please don't let me catch this, I been flowing flowing lately. Great post, can feel the pain of anyone that suffers from debilitating post deficiencies lol. Following ya
I hope it's not contagious. The last thing we need is a smelly airborne pathogen taking everyone out for a few days.
Appreciate the follow!
lol...agreed, if the place fell silent due to some weird mass version of writers block we might as well all start the power down and call it a day lol. M. Night Shyamalan would then probably write a script about it lol, blame the trees or something
Those damn trees... I wish they'd just leave us alone!
don't worry they are trying to cut them all down lol Great sense of humor, looking forward to more post by you my friend.
constiposted - the new writer's block
I may have created a monster today. At least it's a warm fuzzy one and not a cold prickly.
What kind of Monster? LOL
I'll take a photo once it finally comes out from hiding!