Everything That Is Wrong With This Place
My Name is Irrelevant
And that's the first problem with this place!
Don't you know who I am?!?
I've been here three months and I'm not a famous blogger yet? What is wrong with this place! I worked my ass off sharing links to news stories and political memes about that savage Justin Trudeau! I made one that made him look like the devil! Horns and everything! I do that on Facebook and I get twenty-seven likes within minutes because they know I'm right! They listen to me! This place is broken!
I took pictures of my tomato plants and no whale voted for them!
And That's Another Thing!
Whales are wrong with this place!
These people think they're soooo great! Sitting there in their expensive chairs made out of caviar probably. Do you know how long it takes for a tomato plant to grow? Of course you don't! You're just a big dumb whale with a high horse shoved up your ass! I stared at those plants for two months! I took pictures everyday and you didn't vote for that?! You missed the best part! What's wrong with this place!
I'll tell you what's wrong with this place!
We get nothing!
My first twenty posts over the span of three months only paid me $70! What's up with that? $70 is nothing! I can't live on that! I told my wife, "We're gonna be rich!" Now she sits on her ass all day saying, "Where's my money, Ernest!" In the snottiest voice you can imagine! "Where's my money, Ernest!" "Where's my money, Ernest!" "Where's my money, Ernest!" "Where's my money, Ernest!" "Where's my money, Ernest!"
"Where's my money, Ernest!"
"Where's my money, Ernest!"
"Where's my money, Ernest!"
Ernest! What the hell are you yelling about! I'm trying to sleep!
Martha! I had a bad dream again!
Ernest! I thought I told you to stop watching those damn western movies before bed!
Martha! It wasn't the dream about the cowboy who wanted to cuddle with me again!
Ernest! Was it the one about the bowling balls coming out of your ass!
Martha! It's three in goddamn morning! Think about the neighbors before you yell about things like that!
Ernest! You're deaf! If I don't yell you just say what! What! What! What!
Martha! What!
Ernest! I said you're deaf and I have to yell!
Martha! What!
Ernest! Go back to bed!
What!
"Ernest! Was it the one about the bowling balls coming out of your ass!
Martha! It's three in goddamn morning! Think about the neighbors before you yell about things like that!"
That made me laugh out loud...at 2:20 AM
I woke the neighbors.
Of course this place is broken! They promise to make you rich, you quit your job, you post shit memes and selfies but nothing happens! Pfff! You are telling me that I need to actually work here to make some extra bucks? Jeez!
I don't know about Ernest, but I am definitely going to bed (Past midnight here. I turned into a pumpkin again. I should seriously stick to that diet some time soon or else I'll start looking like a whale more than a whale itself...)
I didn't know a tired pumpkin could understand satire but damn! Learn something new everyday!
Well, mister, I am a special pumpkin! :P
I was reading Ernest's voice as the character Gordon Cole from Twin Peaks by the end of this...
What is Gordon like? Is he an old grouch?
Not exactly...
Why does Ernest think earning $70 in three months as a bad dream? That's more than what most newbies earn!
I think Ernest just need to relax and maybe try to have some fun. He shouldn't be losing sleep over this place.
Ernest should learn to chat with memes and giphy, requires less thinking and stress. It can also be fun. I would have to say that Ernest sure does have some interesting dreams.
Here's another one of his nightmares...
https://steemit.com/@nonameslefttouse/hunters-which-one-are-you-and-how-can-ernest-help
At the start, I was agreeing a lot, and by the end, I walked away, a little confused. That's pretty normal for me though.
Ernest was having bad dreams about Steemit again. I haven't used these characters in awhile.
I’m trying to put thing together here!
Money, cowboy, Ernest, cuddle.
Money, cowboy, Ernest, cuddle.
Money, cowboy, Ernest, cuddle.
🤔
😃 😆 😂 😂 😂 😂
You do have to give the bowling balls a little push.
Otherwise, it won't work. It's the hardest shit I've ever made.
Haha your imagination knows no limits ! This made me crack up real bad
Yeah... That was frickin' nuts. LOL!
Hehe
Very entertaining sir, good post. Not what I was expecting. I was expecting a rant. lol
That took an unexpected turn.