Doing the Things I Want To Do and Why I Want To Do Them: A Comprehensive Guide Towards Achieving Nothingness Combined With An Interesting Title That Looks Like It Was Written By A Professional Title Maker
The world around me is busy
you see.
Zip zip zip zip zip goes the everyone, except me; I just like to watch.
Anyway
Good day to you. My name is Mr. Himself. I'll be your guide.
Have you ever read a blog post about peanut butter toast?
Me either!
So let's see what we got here:
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Hmm?
What does this button do?
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Some kind of magic mystery box popped up like an instance of writer's block during a simile.
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That's right!
I'm a team player.
On my day off from doing nothing, I worked for Google. It says right there, "I helped improve Google for everyone!"
Time to keep on scrolling though. I need to find out more about this goddamn blog post about peanut butter toast so I can do my research and write my own goddamn blog post about peanut butter toast.
Let's see what we have:
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I don't want to click but I have to click. This is for science.
Good to know!
But I am still without answers.
It's time to take a shot in the dark. Blog post research isn't supposed to take this long.
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Page nine:
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"Feeling lost?"
"How to start over when things fall apart."
I'd say this goddamn blog post about peanut butter toast fell apart a long time ago. I'll click that one.
Okay, I was sent here, first thing I see is some lady taking a shot of Dayquil...
I can't do this anymore!
Today's goddamn blog post about peanut butter toast has been cancelled.
Sorry for the inconvenience.
Have a nice day.
'Raw toast'... I guess I don't know much about bread after all.
For some reason this cracked me up too:
They both cracked me up.
I had some raw toast on my sandwich today. It was good. I liked it.
I don't get is what I want to say either...
I just can't imagine eating bread raw, it seems so savage, but of course lots of people do it, doesn't mean they're savages. I'm not saying you're a savage. Some don't realize there's a 'What th Fuck Did I Just Read?' category, and actually ask in the comments I guess.
That bread was still alive when I ate it.
The loaf itself was home to trillions of microbes, spores and numerous colonies of rebel yeast who had refused to eat the sugar during the 'Rising'. Heroes, every one, but of course none would survive the post-sandwich gastric fluid deluge, none would live to tell the tale.
"....Looks Like It Was Written By A Professional Title Maker"
Do you think there's a living to be made there? I'd hate to go deep into debt ramping up with the education and qualifications - just to find out there's no real calling for it, or the market is already overcrowded, with a downward spiral in income for those trying to eke out their living in that field.
I think these are good times to be a professional title maker but it's only the beginning . The best is yet to come and, without sounding too overzealous, I think the future looks bright and shiny.
This is not financial advice.
If the future looks bright and shiny enough, we could carve it into beads and trade them to the natives for their land. Then all they would have is the future, but we would have their land. Jokes on them, eh?
this might be financial advise, I'm not sure - and my lawyer is on coffee break
That's one way to land a good job.
Congrats on the new Google job! I hear they have good health benefits, so you might as well go get sick. I think you don't even have to fill out a form.
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Not bad for an elementary school dropout, eh!
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In order to validate the science, I repeated your experiment and I got peanut butter toast recipes right away. Google gave credit to some new employee in western Canada. He's taking the place by storm. I bet he's going to be employee of the month!
I told you! I work hard. Get shit done. That company wouldn't be where it is today, without me.
Nutella must be searched more than peanut butter these days, nobody blogs about peanut butter anymore because nutella gets all the views and it's a damn shame!
Because of this madness, I caught myself mixing cocoa into my peanut butter, then smearing that all over my raw toast. I've been brainwashed by ads disguised as healthy eating options.
Those damn commies took over google and are now eating my peanut butter toast. Before long they will raid the whole damn frig.
Next thing it'll be the goddamn jam!
How much you charge to make professional titles?
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Three installments of $9.99 plus $3.99 at the end and $29.99 handling fees along with the $19.99 damage deposit upfront.
That's little expensive, considering this bear market.
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Hey, I'm not selling bears here. A guy's got to make a living somehow.
Well okay, I will come back to you in bull market.
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By then I should have some fresh bullshit for sale as well; if you're interested.
No, thank you for offer.
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Well, okay; but if you change your mind, you know where to find me.
Today I Learned: Raw toast = Bread Hahahaaaaaa!
According to Corrine Purtill: A shitshow. No less an authority than the Oxford English Dictionary describes a shitshow as a “situation or state of affairs characterized by chaos, confusion, or incompetence.” A clusterfuck may come to possess all those characteristics, but is more properly identified by the decisions that produced it than its outcome.
I think clusterfuck is what you were looking for LOLLL.
I needed that clusterfuck/shitshow today :)
Maybe it's a shit cluster.
It’s a conspiracy! The search was clearly sponsored by Nutella to get you to buy some...
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Those nutty Nutella people can't be trusted! Pass the tinfoil. They're not getting inside this mind!
Those rejects on page nine are very interesting. After reading the blurbs under them, I actually wanted to click on them. This one is pretty catchy, for instance: "here are four simple, yet crucial steps on how to...smudge a face".
I'm also a bit curious about that link you cut off. I want to know more about that "fucking hero" that mixes flour, sugar, cardamom, and salt. I like cardamom.
Nutella be damned. That stuff gives me a stomach ache.
I was once handed two Nutella sampler packets in the mail. I ate that shit, raw. It didn't have much of a flavor. Reminded me of envelopes.
In the past, when I wanted a stomach ache, I would eat it on raw toast. Everything is better on raw toast.