Questions I have concerning the story of Noah's Ark

in funny •  last year

So this article is not meant to offend anyone. These are genuine questions/discrepancies i have noticed in the story of Noah & the flood. Please answer if you can or get a laugh out of it.

(It was a long church service & I had plenty of time to think)

So here are we go:

  1. How did the Egyptians need an entire army of slaves to build the pyramids, but Noah just needed his three sons to build the ark?

  2. Where did Noah find enough wood in the Middle East to build a ship of that size?

  3. How did eight people take care for all those animals?

  4. Why did God have to kill off all but two of every living creatures?
    And how did He decide which ones made the cut? I mean, what did those other llamas ever do to Him?
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  5. Where did all the water go after the flood? Other civilizations that lived in the same time period as when creationists believe the flood actually happened. So, how come in all of their recorded history & all of their documentation that we have, doesn't have any mention of this global flood?

  6. The Bible says there were no rainbows before the flood. But that would mean that there was no sun, no rain or no phisics. So, which is it?

  7. Because we have evidence of dinosaur fossils, we know dinosaurs had to have been on that ark, too. How did they fit in there?

  8. Did the animals go to the bathroom at all during the year long journey? And if so, where did it all go?

  9. How did Noah's family not get all sorts of diseases given that there had to have been like huge piles of shit building up on the ark?

  10. How did Noah collect the tens of millions of insect species alone, especially when a lot of those species don't live anywhere close to each other geographically?

  11. Who inspected the insects to make sure you had one male and one female?

  12. How did they get the penguins from Antarctica and the koalas from Australia to come to the Middle East? And after, how did those animals get back there?
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  13. Which animals on the ark had lice? Were they only two lice?

  14. What about gonorrhea? Which family member brought that along for the ride?
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  15. How did ants survive? I mean, they need a whole group of them to survive together, because they all have specialized tasks. It's not like two of them can just hang out on the boat by themselves just waiting for a year to procreate. It doesn't work like that.

  16. Genetically speaking, how is it possible that we have all this human diversity that we see today, if we just started out with Noah's family a few thousand years ago? Natural selection doesn't work that quickly. .

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Here is the way people answered to me about some of these questions:

  1. Apparently they built the ark over along period of time and I'm pretty sure that Noah had money to hire people? The bible said that people laughed at him so a lot of people had to know what was going on.
  2. The geography of the earth was not the same before and after the flood. To quote Genesis: "all the fountains of the great deep burst open" which might mean earthquakes that shifted the topography?
  3. A theory is that they were hibernating for that period. The whole thing was a miracle so why not that?
  4. In the Bible animals are semi seen as below humans so meh..
  5. 71% of the earths surface is water, no one knows what it was like before unfortunately.
  6. It is generally believed that there was no rain before the flood.
  7. Small dinosaurs or eggs might have been brought along.
    8&9. Back to the hibernation theory.
  8. All the animals came to Noah, he did not collect them. It is believed that only the main species was aboard the ark and micro evolution sourced the sub species.
  9. It was a miracle, God sent all the animals.
  10. Genesis 6:20 - Two of every kind of bird, of every kind of animal and of every kind of creature that moves along the ground will come to you to be kept alive.
  11. No clue..
  12. Diseases develop or sometimes even lie dormant for years in people.
  13. Those little buggers float and maybe some survived on the ark.
  14. Micro evolution, not sure what else to say.

That is just my two cents on the matter.

And i would assume there was no need to bring in the fish because water is their territory! What of the ones that need to come out in the surface once in a while to breathe?
I guess we'll never know, right?

I see someone deep in thought here. But you have gotten some good answers from @chr7is. It is all a miracle.

I think we can say that @chr7is has answered that very well. Those gifs are so funny!

#4: for procreation.

I keep wondering how and why mosquitoes made the cut. Is that where we lost dinosours?

That must have been one long service! but @chr7is has answered it very well, and also he had a very long time to prepare for the logistics

Which animals on the ark had lice? Were they only two lice? This is a question we will never get the answers to.

Also

  • What about the fish
  • Where were sharks and whales kept?

That must have been one long sermon