"Listen, first off, I don't want any of you wusses getting on @nanzo-scoop's back for what I'M about to write. This is me. The Cockney Rouge Trader. I've been known to hack an account or two, and it didn't take me look to work out this 'Scoop' sissy's password. I'll be broadcasting my messages to you via him. I heard this Steemit lark is the place to be.. so what better place to explain to the world the caper I pulled earlier today... on the DAO.

Jiggery pokery

"Now let's get things straight. There are many ways to make a bit money trading crypto. Still. Today. 2016. Sure, you're not gonna make the "1,000,000 x" returns that you could have made on Bitcoin, back in the day. However with a bit of jiggery pokery, you can still make a bob or two. That's assuming you're willing to walk the tightrope.. between right and wrong... between good and evil... between legal and illegal... between moral and... well you get my drift.

"Now. I'll confess. I've indulged in my fair share of naughtiness in the past. Being a bit of a rogue and all, I was never one to miss out on the opportunity to make easy money. To tell the truth, I thought those days were behind me. After my many heists from MtGox to Cryptsy, I'd figured I'd turn over a new leaf, 'find myself', so I turned to the East. I spent a bit of time researching Bhuddism, and I was googling the ways of the TAO. However I misstyped and googled DAO instead... and my relapse began...

Cash out of clear blue ether!

"I had no bloody idea what this DAO thing was all about, as my eyes gazed over it's google results. But I saw it had something to do with that Vitalik Bute-bollocks. I'd heard of him because he was this supposed 'boy genius' that had made a bunch of minnows, crazy cash out of the clear blue ETHER!

I figured if The Bute-bollocks was involved, there MUST be something in this DAO. I read a little more and saw they were doing an IOC. I love ICOs. You get in nice and early (hoping that not too many people jump on it), and before the sheep realise that the ICO is the next big hype-job... hey presto, the price has quadruplied 15 times over and you've made a nice little earner. You should hear how much I got out of NXT ico (but that's another story).

"Decentralised Auto Bollocks..."

"So I jump on this DAO thing nice and early. No research. Why bother. It will moon, guaranteed. The math was simple. Bute-bollocks + ICO = LOADSAMONEY!

"HOWEVER low and behold, a few weeks lately and I'm flicking through my local rag and what do I see? This DAO thing had blown up BIG TIME! It had only become the biggest crowd sale ever! These SLOCKIT bunch of nerds had convinced another bunch of nerds to throw some serious wonger at this Decentralised Auto Bollocks..!

"Bloody-balls I thought! That's not how this ICO hustle is supposed to work. If all the SHEEP jump on at the ICO stage, where are we suppose to find the JOHNNY-COME-LATELY SHEEP to jump on later and pump the price! This DAO shit was not going to end well!!

Acrimonious divorce

"So I had a chat with Leon. Leon my "go to" guy when I need run a crypto hustle... he understands all the technical crap that I gloss over. Eventhough I had only sunk a couple of Bitcoin into the DAO, I felt cheated. I wanted my nice little earner.

"So Leon went away and read the Whitepaper. He came back with so much talk of 'splitting' and 'child' DAO's that I was having flash backs to my ex-wife and our acrimonious divorce (I'm sure @dantheman can relate). Anyway I told Leon to shut up and cut to the chase. IS there any MONEY to be made out of this CRAP?

"He had only looked at the code for ten minutes but had found one exploit... it involved

• spliting from the DAO to create our own DAO ('Child DAO'),
• Then we can launch an attack to siphoned off more and more funds into our Child DAO
• The catch was it would take about a month to get cash out... by which time Bute-bollocks and his gang would be onto us and have worked out a fix!

The science

"So what the point of telling me that? I was about to run off some choice expletives into Leon's earhole until he reminded me that we could run the classic 'FUD' attack! Of course, I cried! Like the time we did over MONERO with that time wrap attack! Then he drops the science:

We kick off an attack/ expose an exploit (that can be readily fixed) for the sole purpose of (a) creating FUD (maybe spread a bit of FUD ourself) and (b) triggering MASS DUMPING (maybe dump high ourself), then (c) BUY at the bottom and (d) DUMP again when the price recovers.

THIS hustle would be almost as good as if the attack had succeeded! The beauty of this hustle is we don't need to worry about getting the wrong side of the crypto police. BUTE-bollocks looks like a hero when he averts disaster. DAO looks like it's been 'road tested' and passed. We make off loads $$$. Everyone wins. Except for the poor suckers that ended up selling (or trying to short) cheaply.

The sky is falling!

"So that's what we did. We pumped DAO just a little to 25k satohis, get everyone nice and comfortable. Then we launched the attack and started the FUD... the SKY is falling, the SKY is falling, THE DAO DAO DAO... the SKY is falling, the SKY is falling, RUN GET OUT NOW!

"We spent about 20 minutes in the troll boxes pumping out the same messages. We give everyone the link to our attack, THE WORKS! We dumped at 20-25k satoshi. Bought back at under 10k. Then dumped again at 19k. Nice little earner, while Bute-bollocks and his nerds play hero 'fixing' our so-called attack. It worked a treat!

Me and Leon are out of DAO now, quids in, healthy profit banked... let the chips fall where they may for the DAO.... welcome to crypto 2016 bitches!"

###Yours un-faithfully

Cockney Rogue Trader

#cockneyroguetrader