This Debilitating Condition Strikes 1 out of 3 Men Worldwide!
I'd like to be serious for but a moment and talk about the debilitating condition that strikes 1 out of 3 men worldwide. This condition is commonly know as the "friend shelf". The first reported case has been lost to antiquity but much has been documented in many texts, in many countries throughout time. If you want to know if a man has been put on the "friend shelf", here is how to tell.
First, he's usually accompanied by one or more females whom are very attractive physically. She's a 7 and he's a 4 at best (in obscure lighting) if you take my meaning. Second, if he's sitting down say at a restaurant, the man will be swinging his legs back and forth and have an erect posture as he is waiting to spring into action at a moments notice to do the womans bidding. Oh and he's definitely paying for everything.
I myself have been put on the"friend shelf"several times... I've never wanted to be there... I wanted to get to know her as a person (that includes the physical) but no... first row, friend shelf, view of the park. What I've learned from being on this shelf is perspective and there are other places women put men besides the "friend shelf"...let me explain.
First you have to address the root problem. Women...ya'll some hormonal batshit crazy ass motherfuckas! We who have been put on the "friend shelf" have to listen to you talk...all the time...and you make NO SENSE.
Example - Female: "You know I want a decent man who treats me right...not someone who's all muscles and a jerk! I want someone who will make me laugh and spend time with me who's great in bed and who will take care of me."
Man: (From the "friend shelf" waving his arms) I'm right here! Hellloooo.
Female: "Not you silly...you're like a brother to me...but you're definitely not like the deuchebag I met last night..I mean he was rude and he only lasted like 5 minutes in bed...ughhh...I'm suppose to meet him later for drinks..."
Meanwhile I've got blueballs over here from being on this shelf and could probably make coitus an Olympic event, if you would just take me off the shelf.
Second, when I realized that the guy she just banged was put in the "bargain bin." I finally spotted it from being up on the "friend shelf". See you ladies start putting us men in all sorts of categories and that is just another form of torture. So we generally try jumping from the shelf to the bargain bin. We fail... and that's when you ladies take notice of us(when we're all fucked up from the fall and not looking our best...)and then you set us back on the friend shelf. You're prince charming or knight in shining armour is right in front of you but you're too batshit crazy to take notice.
In conclusion I implore all women... If you're single and have a guy friend who's allways around... take him off the "friend shelf" and fuck his brains out...Ladies only you can stop this debilitating condition...stop the suffering.
I hear you, buddy. Thankfully, I'm kind of an asshole sometimes and girls seem to like that no matter what they say otherwise.
Here's a post I read the other day that talks about this from the woman's point of view. Maybe you'll like it, it's a good read.
Miss Opinionated Nice Guys Finish Last --- by @sweetsssj
You could date one of the girls who are 4's and don't even get invited to dinner.
They're just as shelved as you are.
Can't get to the 4's once the 7's or higher put you on the "friend shelf" ;-)