I'm fat and I'm pregnant | Funny....

 It's just a weird time for me right now. I've been kind of knocked back to a starting point I never wanted to get back to and I'm just not sure where to go from here. I know it won't always be this way but I just don't want to be in this place of insecurity and unsure. (Is that even a word?)I just want to be happier and more confident in myself, and I put myself through this place that I know I can change but I'm just not sure how to or why I even should bother to or whatever. I don't want to dive into the hole of self-pity because that'll just do nothing and it's a complete waste of time and energy.The eating crap food is just a subsistence thing. It's tiding me over until I get to a more comfortable place, and in the meantime I'm not going to weigh myself.I just need direction, confidence, maturity, a little bit of security, and happiness--all of which are attainable if I go for them.Just seeing her header just made me a little sad. She's a beautiful girl who's going through a pregnancy, and the costume is brilliant, and I know she's in on it, but there's a touch of sadness to it. My friend went through it and got a little down on herself because she's always been a bit weight-conscious. My friend is a responsible, beautiful, warm-heated good person. It feels like OP is too, and I just wanted to wing that out to her. I think I kind of aspire to be that person in the midst of all my negativity, insecurities--hurling my insecurities at other people that don't deserve it at all, woe-is-me, etc. b.s. I want to grow into a better person.This got deeper than I ever meant it to be.