Vatican claims no knowledge of a missing $1.8BN , saying "We don’t have that kind of money!"

in #funny4 years ago

When Pope Benedict - in 2013 - took the almost unprecedented action of stepping down from the papacy, rumors swirled that it was due to financial irregularities concerning Pope Benedict's addiction to bingo (and snakes and ladders).

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His stepping aside paved the way for Pope Francis, who said that Benedict's stepping down was due to declining health - but speculation has persisted that he did, in fact win - big time - when 'two fat laddies, 88' was called out at his weekend 'bingo bonanza' that he attended on a regular basis.

Since then, other scandals and irregularities at the Vatican Bank have continued to emerge.
The latest being the "disappearance" of a massive 1.8 BILLION DOLLARS!
The Roman Catholic Church denies knowing anything about it.
The Vatican have also denied knowledge of the money transfers (to Australia).

A senior Vatican official who works on the city-states finances told Reuters "Things don't just disappear into thin air, you know, and that amount of money did not leave the Vatican City, as we just don’t have that kind of money," he said, " And you can trust me on this, because I'm a holy person."

Archbishop Mark Coleridge (of Brisbane) also denied knowing anything about it.
"I can assure you that no diocese or other Church entity saw any of that money, and I'm a holy person, so you can trust me."

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The Vatican, who is renown for destroying entire civilizations for as little as $40 worth of gold, could not have overlooked such large volumes of missing money.

The official in Rome said that the Vatican had around 100 legal , 2,000 illegal (and 340 demonic) entities, "...but they don’t have that kind of money".
The Vatican official said that 'they'd sent less than 9,500 euros to Australia, since 1914, and this was mostly for payment to hookers, for holy persons, at the Vatican embassy'.

When the Pope was asked about where the missing money had gone, He said " I have no idea. I'm a simple, lowly, holy man and do not concern myself with such worldly distractions".

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The interview was cut short as his holiness
has an appointment with Lamborghini - to
discuss his upcoming pope mobile

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