'Nearly'.... a @steem exclusive.....Breaking news !.....The Corona Virus threatens strike action !

in #funny3 years ago

cvg - Copy (5) - Copy - Copy - Copy.jpg

In an unprecedented emergency press conference held today, by WANC (Workers Against New Corona's), their spokesman, Mr. Bill Bak Betta (head of the WANC committee) has come out quoting 'Fake News' as one of the major reasons strike action may start as early as tomorrow.

" We never signed up for this", He said, "We were promised good working conditions by our employers, Mr. Pfizer, and Mr.Moderna, and they've simply not honored their side of the bargain."

He was referring to a clause in the contract whereupon Mr. Pfizer and Mr. Moderna had promised them unfettered access to all people with an IQ under 110.
( Article 7, section 3, also states that midwits with an IQ of upto 120 and holding a worthless degree, were also to be included).

"It soon became apparent, " Mr Bill Bak Bettr went on to to say,
"...They've never really delivered on their promises and, contrary to even the most optimistic propaganda, (where it states that people liked getting the jab) , only a minority of people have taken them up on their offer."

He continued " It seems that even the first willing participants in this program of being a life long pin cushion for the remainder of their very unhealthy , but short lives, are having second thoughts".

cvg - Copy (5) - Copy - Copy - Copy.jpg

It was pointed out to him that those individuals who were first willing to take the jab, were, in actual fact, totally incapable of having first thoughts (never mind second ones).
He dismissed this ,simply saying "That's not important right now..".

"What IS important, however," He said, "...Is that not only are we being denied good working conditions as were promised by Mr Pfizer and Moderna, we're now the subject of fake news, and this cannot go unchallenged."

When asked about what 'the fake news ' entailed, he submitted a report by a national propaganda publication 'The Daily Mail'.

Holding up the publication, He said to reporters:
"It states very clearly here , and in no uncertain terms, that one Mrs Jen Psaki has recently been infected by some of my co- workers.
This is fake news."

cvg - Copy (5) - Copy - Copy - Copy.jpg

He went to explain that in no circumstances 'would they ever work inside a Ginger Top'.

He said that , " This goes against every principle that the WANC organisation holds dear, and even worse, it was specifically mentioned in the contract with Pfizer and Moderna, where it stated that Gingers were a line that we were simply not willing to cross."

The clause in the contract clearly states:
' Carrot tops and Welsh people shall not be deemed as acceptable work sites'.

Mr Bill Bak Better said that if such defamatory accusations concerning his fellow workers were not retracted immediately, they would have no choice but to go on strike.

"We all know that working inside Ginger Tops is a direct contravention of The Nuremberg Trials edicts, and we'll have none of it !
It's inhumane, demeaning, and no self respecting virus would ever comply to those kind of 'copper haze' conditions. "

He said that if 'the powers that be' do not offer a full retraction concerning Miss Psaki's infected status (by his fellow workers), they would down tools - and infections - within the next few days.
He said there will be no more clots, strokes, palsy's, or even slight sniffles - if their demands were not met.

He finished the press conference on a more conciliatory note.

"We can complete the contracts as all parties had agreed upon, and would love nothing more than to continue our work with the full support and backing of Mr.Pfizer and Moderna.
We can help in putting the sheep in the pen, and would love to fully contribute in this, but it cannot come at a cost of infecting Gingers.
It's just plain wrong".

He also mentioned that due to some undisclosed facts that have now come to light, (and were not given to them by Mr.Pfizer and Modern at the time of signing the contract), they will also not go near any Fauci, Pelosi, or Schumer , either.

cvg - Copy (5) - Copy - Copy - Copy.jpg

"We could never - and will never - go near such unclean cesspits of human beings.
So, as far as the WANC members are concerned, these individuals now come under the same strict rules as the Gingers do."

They also said that as a sign of good faith, they will allow work to continue inside hot Latina's - including Alexandria Cortex.

" As a sign of the commitment to The New World Order's dreams, work will continue inside Ms. Cortez, but it should be pointed out that when we went through blood brain barrier earlier this week, we had absolutely nothing to work with..."

cvg - Copy (5) - Copy - Copy - Copy.jpg

Coin Marketplace

STEEM 0.27
TRX 0.12
JST 0.031
BTC 67738.65
ETH 3810.43
USDT 1.00
SBD 3.74