Top 10 Funny Quotes

“They love their hair because they're not smart enough to love something more interesting.”
― John Green, Looking for Alaska

“It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.”
― Marilyn Monroe

“The planet is fine. The people are fucked.”
― George Carlin

“Well, don't expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear.”
― Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay

“Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer.”
― Ellen DeGeneres, Seriously... I'm Kidding

“What the hell is that?" I laughed.
"It's my fox hat."
"Your fox hat?"
"Yeah, Pudge. My fox hat."
"Why are you wearing your fox hat?" I asked.
"Because no one can catch the motherfucking fox.”
― John Green, Looking for Alaska

“Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.”
― Albert Einstein

“Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish

“I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
― Mark Twain

“Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.”
― Phyllis Diller