So I have a story to tell. I have only told a few people about this "incident". Initially I held onto this story with shame and disgust and swore I would take it to my grave... It is the single-most embarrassing story of my life. It is a moment where I objectively looked at myself and thought:

"Holy shit, this is what you have come to, you are fucking mad."

The missing toilet

So, now that I laid down that foundation...

The thing is I have really bad anxiety. At the time my anxiety was even worse than it is now, by far. I also was terrified of children because they interacted with me, a lot, and interacting with people was the main thing that made me anxious. Also, I barely knew his family and was staying there because he rescued me from having no home after being released from the mental institution. So, I was embarrassed and didn't feel at home and had this really bad anxiety, okay?

I am working my way up to it, you see, because it's really embarrassing and I have to let you know WHY I did such a thing.

The poop.

So, I shit in the cup, right? And of course as I haven't shit in like 3 days it was a massive shit with the density of a dying star. It entirely fills up this very large cup. And it isn't going to liquify by adding a little water. So, now I am standing there, naked, in the shower, holding a huge cup of my own shit.

And this would be the moment when I realize I am bat-shit insane and maybe they should have kept me in the mental institution.

I had no choice, obviously, but to use my hands to liquify this shit and get it down the drain. This took some time. I broke a sweat as I stood in a tub full of my own shit trying to get it go down the drain. Pushing corn kernals through the little drain holes and hoping for the best. Eventually the deed was done. I was exhausted.

In my frenzied, exhausted state I happened to forget the cup in the bathroom. I realized this as I was in bed, nakie, and comfy. I decided I would sneakily dispose of said cup tomorrow. What could be the harm in that, right?

The. fucking. cup. was. gone.

The wife had cleaned our bathroom. I had assumed the cup was safe because it was in our bathroom but had forgotten the wife was an absolute clean freak. This pink cup had been reintroduced to a collection of 8 identical pink cups. I couldn't throw away all the cups....I saw people drinking out of the cups. I saw kids drinking out of the fucking cups. I couldn't admit I had taken a large shit in their cup. That would surely land me back on the street, if not back in a mental institution. So, I had to just push it out of my mind that way one pushes their own shit down a drain.

I avoided the cups for awhile, but eventually, I figured it'd been disinfected repeatedly and should be safe. Besides it's my poop. And it was a nice, big cup.

So, that's the story about how I shit in a cup, and shoved all my shit down a shower drain, because of anxiety.

let it be noted the actual pink cup was huge but I couldn't find that exact cup.

I wasn't sure if I should put the category as funny or not, I guess it is wishful thinking.