Stuck in Traffic for The Past 90 Minutes and Barely Moving

in funny •  4 months ago


And I really need to pee. Big time. I’m alone in the car too. Hopefully I don’t need to take a dump as well. What should I do?

  • Pee in an empty bottle.
  • Abandon car and head for random toilet.
  • Leave but keep the car in sight and pee behind the bushes in public.
  • HODL!!!!!

Clever suggestions welcome.


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Wallop a condom on because that will make the pee take ages to actually happen and it will buy you some time.

Then when it finally comes you will have a big balloon of pee which you can artfully throw from the car saying that you are making a statement on the corruption inherent in capitalism


LOL dammit. It’s always missing whenever I need it.


Yeah, mines is just powder, lol!


I second the piss balloon!


hahahha, i can only laugh :) @meesterboom.



I have peed in the bottle once... No, really, I have peed in the bottle and all over the place once. Hahaha. Struggle of a woman!

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Well, I was alone in a quite deserted area. It's either I go out and pee in a place where there are mostly men or I just get down to business to avoid unwanted conflicts mostly caused by my paranoia. Lol.

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HODL and profit.:D

In Thailand we have something calls “Comfort 500“ It’s actually like a pee bottle for men and women 😆 #bangkoktrafficjam


Good biz plan! Taking note.

Pee in the empty bottle for sure haha


This happens to me all the time.

I drive rideshare and I can be stuck for hours before getting the chance to pee.

Reading these suggestions myself...

The only problem with the bottle idea is that the opening isn’t wide enough. Spillage will inevitably occur.

I’ve found that doing perineum squeezes helps develop the muscles that help you hold. Also good for developing ejaculatory control, too!

This is not about peeing but pooping, but I guess it works the same, assume if you are not restricted on a car. A few months ago, I was on the travel bus heading somewhere far, I had this sudden abdominal cramping as if the feces were going to break through my anus within seconds, however the next pick-up bus station with toilet is still far away and i had to suffer for quite a while. Anyway after like 30 minutes, finally the bus stopped for toilet time and i rushed to the toilet with rocket speed. However, when i got inside the toilet, i didnt feel like pooping already, it was pretty weird at that time but of course it didnt last for long, very soon the feces came knocking door again. Now that i think of it, it totally makes sense, our nervous system is divided into central nervous system and autonomic nervous system. Autonomic system itself is then divided into sympathetic nervous system which responsible for fight & flight respond and parasympathetic nervous system which play important roles in food digestion, urination and defecation. So as i ran towards toilet with my full power and adrenaline pumped through my blood, all these stress just activated my sympathetic nervous system and shut down my gastrointestinal activity which is controlled by parasympathetic nervous system. As a result, it stopped the intestinal contraction and relieved my abdominal pain (urge to poop) as well. Ergo, if you somehow got caught in a situation which you have to urinate or poop and you can't, try to deceive your body that you were in stress by running around.Just kidding, don't do that on road, safety first!!! LOL...

I was in Jakarta a few years ago. one time a 40 min ride took 3 hours.
Lesson learned. Always pee before going on a ride but the Indo colleague said it's common for them to bring an empty bottle as you mentioned too. Then one time, he just stopped by the highway and get out, climb of the fence and started doing it as you also mentioned. So, I think no much else to try unless you want to consider adult diapers.

Hodl is the right option but not here.
Hodling the pre in will affect your kidneys.
I suggest pee behind the bushes and come back.

Hi kevin i would suggest that you pee n your bottle. my friend also recently had this situation yesterday and he chose to empty out my water bottle and run it by my area and peed into it. It wasn't as nice because some urine went into the seat but it was sufficient. I threw the bottle away after.

There are other options too. For example, hold it in. Its not very effective, especially for a woman.

And the other disgusting one, just go. Its a terrible feeling, but at least you went.

I would choose a good tree, you seem to be surrounded by them and then go pee on that. Nothing gets you as close to nature as pissing on a tree. I would take the potential problems as they come. I am sure the cost-benefit analysis will come out in favour of connecting to mother earth.

Do you have an empty bottle is the pre-emptive question for response (1). If you not moving, then that's the one for sure. Just look innocent and whistle while doing it.

Oh my God it's not really a funny, very serious things, the people who faces this problem they know. In my opinion if anybody is not with you in car only empty bottle will help you other things can be poly bag if you have so don't be late it wil be harmful to your body.

Well Hodling, in this case is the worst course of action. Id say the carpet can take it. Put the rubber carpet mat over it and youre ready to go. 😂


Hold until December and then get a nice orgasmic release ah, there is nothing better than that nice release when the situation and timing is just at the right time and place


Make a Dtube video for this.

Well, the first thing you can do is to HODL and do not shake/move your body. I hope the roads do not have bumps. :) Maybe change your position a little bit. Loosen up your belt or open up your pants' button to give some space to your bladder. Switch off the A/C for sure and open the windows to get some fresh air, if that is not too cold.

If you can't HODL @kevinwong then Pee in the bottle. There is no shame in saving up your life. Take care sire. :-) Also, if you can find a toilet, there is no better resort to this situation.

Well, there really is only one answer to this:

  • Hang it out the window let loose.

@kevinwong, Ha ha HODL?, there is no HODL for the nature's call, and for sure it's tough time. And in my opinion Traffic is one of the issues worldwide and it's really hectic too because it's really an headache sometimes.

And after watching this scene, i can say that you really having an tough time and the Trafficis reflecting really long for sure, and literally in these moments it's difficult to take decisions when nature's call push us.

And in my opinion, in this picture we can see that you are stuck at near to corporate buildings, and there is very less chance for coming out because if Traffic opens then everyone will going to start blowing horn.

So, you have to come up with secret plan. Wishing you an great day and stay blessed. 🙂

I think the bottle should be the best option as Hodl might not take long as you don't know if you moving away from that spot anytime soon.

HODL please.

Thats what you crypto enthusiast tells us

But on a lighter note, I'll advice you lock your car,get off, and go pee.

Reminds me of when I was in the military and Marines gotta take a piss on a convoy or alternatively a lazy Marine in the field that doesn't want to get dressed to make their way to the piss tube (Especially when it is cold as balls in the Sahl Sinjar desert).

I guess what I'm saying is there is no shame in pissing in a bottle. Just make sure you get rid of it properly especially before your car gets hot. Last thing you need on your hands is a pressurized piss bottle.

Its been more than half an hour since this post was made and I am sure by now that you must've found a way to relieve yourself.

On the off chance you didn't, find a poly bag!!! I would've asked for HODLing but can't do so under the law of manliness - 'when a man has to go, then he has to go'.


The empty bottle idea is easier said than done - and definately don't try it in a soda can (you have to get real close & that s**t can get nasty.

So if you can't HODL, it might be time to go public. As long as shame is all you're looking at as the worst case scenario

Hodl always sounds good. But is this case it is more likely to cause a damage...
Peeing in public...hmm I would go for it if it was during night...but during the daylight??

So best scenario the empty bottle. Unless you don’t have one either so ...abandon the caaaar!!

Real men HODL! Builds character. Reduces life span though.

Just shit in the shape of a steem logo like your dog did that one time, in your passengers seat.

Sure the ride home might suck but you might make $500 bucks.




Haha that's too contrived :P

Brother, always keep a wide mouth jar or empty peanut butter tub in the car for those type of situations. Saved me more than once being stuck in city traffic. I keep a small pack with some food items and water also you just never know especially in cities. You could get creative with a condom, some hose and an old IV bag but a jar and a towel (just in case of a spill or cover if need be) works best. Haha!

Put on your Hazard light, go to the boot to take the triangle signal out, put it on the road, lock the car and head towards that TOILLETTTTTT


actually that looks like the best way to do it haha

It is almost a day after you posted. This is the strangest question I have ever asked, what did you decide to do? lol.

My guess is hodl until the end. Thanks!

Shit happens!....:)...

Just beat the bushes :D

@kevinwong, stuck in traffic, if in Aceh will not happen like there, I hope you move too Aceh.

Cover yourself up and pee in an emergency pee bottle. I would like to know which choice you chose. Best to you @kevinwong

that's moment of stuck in traffic is so boring. just get outside and do some dancing : ) lol

HODL! I repeat, HODL!!!


Hodl please
Who knows the bull might run now...

I want you to go well

I always bring sanitary pads with me.
Whenever I'm stuck in traffic, I would put the pads in and pee.
I guess that will work for men too. Just steal some pads from your sister or gf and you'll be alright. :)


Leave but keep the car in sight and pee behind the bushes in public.


Leave but keep the car
In sight and pee behind the
Bushes in public.

                 - abduljalil.mbo

I'm a bot. I detect haiku.


this is why i bought a bike

Pee into car's wiper water dispenser.. promote RECYCLING bro.. xD


Damn. You deserve a medal for this!

If you can park the car by roadside and pee nearby, better..

Hahahaa, the first one ( pee in an empty bottle) is the best choise sir...!!!

Pee in an empty Bottle or behind the bushes in public, holding pee is bad for your health!

Ask around, I'm sure someone has a catheter. Install and feel the relief set in

I think you should pee in any empty bottle if u are female.if u r male than leave and keep the car in side and pee in bushes

Pee in an empty bottle.

Hold and be Patient, Please!

HODL you have the power even though you don't think so. I once held mine for 2 hours :P

I am writing this 12 hours after your post came up, so what happened? :P

park you vehicle on road and enjoy the sightseeing ;p

I don’t think your car will move within 30 minute, judging from the situation. Then you’d better take your time, find your toilet/bush, grab some bites, do whatever you want :)

Lol,you almost got the same thing as others do .Get out of the car and pee in the middle of the road and keep the music loud and after doing that upload a pic on internet ,showing what problems people have to face when stuck....
Fuck others get some dancing man

Heyy ages since your last post!
Well.... pee is my surname......🙈

Why not use the Public Transport. It's a whole lot better nowadays. WAlking is healthy too

That’s crazy.

it's really uneasy when fall on a traffic-jam

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