Why @lordvader Should Carry a Towel and... 🌀 "Don't Panic!"
Listen @lordvader, it's for your own sake...
We know you have an image to uphold, the breathing, the helmet, the lack of colour, but it's getting old, literally... And that suit must absolutely reek. It's okay, we won't judge you, but it must be like 110 degrees, and entirely disgusting in that thing all day. The sweat must collect in your boots, uhg...
On Earth we have these things called gym bags. They are where we store nasty and sweaty, sports equipment, socks, shoes and undershirts after a heavy work-out or a hockey game. You open one of these things up after forgetting it for 3 months in the trunk of your speeder, and it's like being hit in the face by fresh Ewok, you know what... (I hear they have problems 'cause of the fur btw... Filthy creatures...) Point being, we know what you're going through.
Don't get us wrong, we know you don't need to work out, 'cause you just get someone to do it for you, and you can just mind-force a pleasant-odour-zone (POZ) around you anyways, but still... That suit... Don't you want to be comfortable? We can't help but imagine the pit stains on your undershirt, the permanent blisters you must have, the subsequent rot and stench... Wouldn't you like to try something new? Don't you at least need a towel?
Since, we know you're new around this galaxy, we wanted to give you a heads up on Human's sensitive noses and dispositions. Because we're generally pretty compassionate too, and you're probably gonna stick with "your thing" regardless of our concern for you, we figured that we should also show you a short video to let you know about how you and some of your mates might want to be prepared for what might happen should anyone else catch wind, err, make your honoured acquaintance. It may come in handy for you too, since you seem pretty stressed... (Though well deserved, it seems that for your own health, too often are you force-chocking imbecilic underlings, and are not spending enough quality time with Vera. (Assistant?! Please... We may not have midichlorians, but we're not that stupid..!)) Make the change! For Vera!
Anticipating your arrival (and need for one,) we even started manufacturing towels with your likeness...
)Anyways, "You desire to watch this TED Talk... This is the TED Talk you are looking for ..." (Hey, I can try it right?)
ah haha. oh lord, may the towel be with you. don't grab a chair. grab a towel
I don't think I've ever seen the guy sit down anyways! Probably even stands up in those ti-fighters too!
Come to think of it, neither have I but I'm sure some smart alec would have make something and it tursn out, I'm right.
There at the top right, Vader sitting and relaxing. Yet still, he's got that stinky suit!
He wears a cape. If he switched out the cape with a large beach towel, who would notice?
Only Vera! And she'd probably be appreciative!
Ma nishma my friend.
You gave me a good laugh, I think it is great that you use the tag minnowsunite, I always check new posts and upvote them.
Read you later!
Kol tov!
Thanks for your appreciation! Nice to meet you, I like you posts also, so I've followed you now too :)
Lord Vader doesn't need to know where his towel is. He's a Sith Lord, not a hitchhiker.
Then his security sucks, and this guy must be hunted down as an impostor! (Note the absence of a towel.)
(Source)
Clearly an imposter.
Has to use his thumb to get a speeder to stop. Hardly menacing indeed.