Lyttle Lytton practice run

So I'm all types of in love with the Lyttle Lytton contest (http://adamcadre.ac/lyttle.html) and I figured it's better to be a participant than a spectator, so I've started working on a few entries of my own. You'll notice a lot of them have common themes with existing entries, but I figured I better stand on some giant shoulders before I try and jump to reach the sour grapes, or whatever the saying is.

• "The oldest story we know, is of young love" the middle aged h8r spat aloud to himself.
• In my final moments alive, two things went through my head, "Gentrification is ruining this neighbourhood" and a bullet.
• People always said I had the face of a sociopath, but that's just one of the many masks I wear.
• Her strawberry blonde hair, cherry red lips, and milky thighs didn't prepare you for Jennifer's tannic personality and spicey temper.
• Only hours before I died, I had crept out of bed to put on my clown costume, as I chuckled knowingly to myself "fool me twice".
• My low self esteem was eating me up inside, but the pressure of living was definitely made worse when I discovered I was the messiah.
• 'Teach a man to fish' Julius chuckled to himself through gritted teeth as his body assumed the warrior stance.
• Sir Buckingham's face was like his suit, grey and wrinkled, because this merger was killing him, but not as quickly as the cancer.
• Normally a spy can smell danger with their nose, but not today.

I'll probably continue with this over the coming weeks, practice makes perfect and whatnot.