Life is too silly to be serious

And a good joke is too important to be taken lightly.

I enjoy torturing my colleagues at work with bad jokes, and I was hoping to share some of my favourite jokes with you fine people, and steal some more of yours to continue my very important work of annoying the hell out of my coworkers.

I was maligning the modern distaste for new words ('lit' comes to mind, what a great word!), and the lack of creativity display by the same tired portmanteaus (X-Gate stands as a clear example) being abused by the media. As a whole, I find people seem to enjoy attacking the evolution of language in the hope of being seen as elite. I suggested these people should familiarise themselves with the word neologism to further their snobbery, but it is an ugly word, and thus:
-They really need to come up with a new word for neologism.

Which reminds me of one of my father's favourite jokes, and several like it.
-I don't have multiple personality disorder; neither do I.
-I used to be apathetic, but now I just don't care.
-I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not sure.

And to round out the mental health section of this event:
-I don't suffer from any mental disorders - I fucking love every second of it.

He's good fun.

The next one loses a lot more in text than the others, but keep it in your arsenal to delight (not really) and impress (again, not really) your friends and colleagues.
-Why did the chicken cross the road?
+Why?
-To get to the idiot's house, knock knock
+Who's there?
-The chicken

I'll end with my favourite, the real joke is watching people's expressions when you abuse them with this:
-What do you get when you cross a rhetorical joke with a question?

What indeed.

I think that's enough for one day, I'd love to hear some of your favourite, or most hated jokes; those hours won't pass themselves for us.