Spotlight Creative Challenge: Drugs in Ashley's Office Part One

Thank you, Spotlight, for this opportunity to dip my toe in and test reactions to my writing by entering the Spotlight Creative Challenge. I'm not optimistic because the humour is so British....so I've only entered 600 words or so.


@healingherb is a would-be writer, a writer in development. She played with writing in the past (not very well at all) but never in a thousand years imagined that she would be writing anything like Up and Down the Market: Scenes from London Life. But she was born within the sound of Bow Bells, so qualifies as a real London Cockney. She's blissfully married to her other half, in her 50s, and lived and worked in London for most of her adult life.....up and down the market.

More down than up, though...

Her submission is an episode from that fictional series Up and Down the Market, currently set in a Freetimes Fitness Centre somewhere in East London in the noughties. She hopes you like it but even if you don't, and nobody upvotes it, love, blessings and good humour to everybody - the pen is mightier and all that :)

Original photo (taken by her husband on their first date):

London. Iconic. To get to the new Freetimes Fitness Centre, hop on the Central Line to Liverpool Street then onto the District and Circle. Or the Docklands Light Railway. Bus number 108 - night bus 123. Or you can always catch a black cab....why do all that healthy walking when you've got a Fitness Club subscription?!

Content Warning: most UaDtM posts contain adult language and scenarios.

East London, some time in the early noughties.

"About time you fucking got here. Quick - into Ashley's office."

"Is Ashley in?"

"No, thank fuck. Here. Shut the door. No - leave the light off. Here."

"What's going on. What's that?"

"Don't you know?"

"No!"

Amber tutted and rolled her eyes, "It's smack. Heroin! Must be two grand's worth. Easily. Fucking hell. Whoa. What are we supposed to do with this?"

"Heroin?!"

"Ashley called in sick. He asked me to give his office the once over before the Inspection tomorrow. It was just lying there. In the waste paper bin. Under that newspaper."

"I'm going to call the police."

Amber snatched the phone receiver, "Have you lost the plot? They'll just flog it on and arrest Ashley! Fucking hell - it's not as if any of them need the money - they're all on the take. Bethnal Green were running three fucking slates when I was massaging at Bubbles! Besides, if Ashley takes the rap, Sonya'll end up Duty Manager. No way!"

"They can't all be bad. Surely your friend Officer Groom would know what to do?"

Amber cackled, "He'd have even less trouble flogging it in his office - Child Protection. Child Protection aren't as bent as Bethnal Green. All the same he could easily offload that shit onto the parents. The addicts. And if he didn't, someone else would."

"It can't be Ashley's, surely?"

Amber tutted and shook her head, "Straight as a fucking die. Doesn't even smoke fags. He's on Joel's Detox Plan with Mrs Bennett, not doing cold fucking turkey! Mind you," she cackled, "Cold turkey's about all there is on that Lo Carb menu plan. Have you seen the whiteboard? One small glass of dry white wine equals 120 calories......that's me fucked then."

"I'm not comfortable with this situation. I think we should call Head Office," I said.

"And say what? Ashley Wellington's a smackhead? Dealing to clients from his new office in your number one first class Fitness Centre? So they call the police, Ashley gets it, loses his job. Or someone in Personnel would flog it first more like - they can read everyone's files so that wouldn't be too difficult. Someone could easily blackmail him, you know."

"No, I don't know, actually. And where should we report it, then?"

"Report what?"

"This! The fact that we've found two grand's worth of heroin in Ashley's office?"

"Nah," grinned Amber, "I didn't find anything."

"Yes you did - you found the heroin!"

"No I never,” said Amber, “It was YOU. YOU found it!”

"Yes you did - you called me in here! Just now!"

"Uh Uh" Amber shook her head.

"What? Where?" I said, "Why are you lying?"

"I dunno what you're on about - you must be going a bit doolally!" said Amber, "Might need a little break, perhaps? Call the White Van Man? Haha - look at your face! Of course I ain't lying - you're my mate! But d'you see what I'm saying?"

"What? What?"

"That we can't ever report this - it's far too dangerous. Don't you get it? This is two fucking grandsworth of heroin. Someone is going to be well pissed off."

"So you're telling me, in your capacity as my new manager in my new job, and Duty First Aider, that I should NOT report the bag of heroin, a Class A dangerous drug that YOU found in the Duty Manager's bin?"

"Go on, then," said Amber, "Report it!"

"Who to?"

"You tell me," she said, "Go on - try it. Here's the internal phone directory. Or call 999. Just keep my fucking name out of it. I did not have anything to do with that bag."

613 WORDS