Tony and Ariel

Halloween. A fateful night of ghosts and ghoulies. Racking my brains like it was last night’s antics. My direction on the road to fabulous had come to a fork in its path. Did I go with slutty cat…or sexy mermaid?
My crippling obsession with jumpsuits was swinging my indecision toward slutty cat but the onslaught of men up-ahead shouting nice pussy in my face was feeling abit daunting… as I knew I’d probably feel encouraged to prove myself that it was. I didn’t need that kind of encouragement. But any excuse really. A Grinch like grin raised upon my face as I knew I didn’t even need an excuse either.
Sexy mermaid it was…my tits looked peng as a mermaid. I start belting out under the sea over the top of some pumping euro-pop I had turned right up to piss off the neighbours. The prosperity of being half fish had driven me into a quick bought of alcoholism as I started downing Russian liquids in a way that was only possible if I had gills.
Tits on fleek I headed for the door. To be greated by a large goonish tiger throwing handfuls of frosties at me shouting. I’m greeeeeaaaat. Tony the tiger was out for Halloween again this year, but having just spending the length of an average person’s childhood on my hair, It was not ‘greeeeaaat’ at all that this bellend, had just buffed a load of sugar into it. Someone was obviously still battling through their own childhood and my hair needed another lifetime.
Tony sat down on the edge of the bed and started shovelling handfuls of frosties from his party kit into his mouth… thaaaats it tony. I mumbled. Tigers don’t cope well with diabetes and nobody want to give 5 pound a month to fat tigers.
Tony went on to say he didn’t have any money for entry to the club we were going to. So looks like Fat tigers just scrounge their way out of extinction.
Yeah course I do tony. I said gritting my teeth
Gutted. as I knew he was just going to throw frosties around as soon as he got in and get kicked out.
I wondered If I Tiger and a mermaid fucked and had babies… would it make the perfect Halloween costume. Slutty cat and sexy mermaid in one. My skin crawled at the prospect of procreating with Tony. I really didn’t wanna see his tiger dick.
Hair on point Tony raised his arms ready to throw more frosties into it but I quickly told him to fuck off and gave his frostie filled paws a shake. Not now Tony…not now. I said in a purely defeatist tone. feeling pretty tested I marched us toward the door as best I could.
As we got out the door Tony had spotted a group of girls with large hoops crossing the road. Tony bounded over and emptied his Frosties over their heads shouting I’m fucking great again like if Donald Trump had starred in the life of pi and was running a campaign for cereal.
The girls looked at each other and started spouting off raw aggro with the intention of taking it out on me not tony.
Fuck this. I left it to Tony and took off down the road. With one of my tits becoming unadjusted and flopping out as I ran… fucking tigers I thought… as I made my escape down the road
I guess you can still be a pussy and a mermaid at the same time after all.