Weird holiday traditions. Bonus!

I just posted a piece on my main account about my family's weirdest and most terrifying holiday tradition. It was a little long so I had to cut out the part about my wife's family. What good is making fun off your in-laws if there is no-one to hear it? So here it is...

For the past 20 years, I have been going to my wife's parents' house on Christmas day. Every year, I laugh as I park my car. Many people have nativity scenes displayed outside their homes. Some people like to leave the manger empty and not place baby Jesus in it until Christmas day. But there is one and only one family that I know of who is so worried that baby Jesus will blow away or get stolen that they tie him to the manger with old gross looking twine. Yes. Those people are my in-laws.

Now imagine if there were 5 ropes instead of one. And instead of it being a nice strap it were dirty pieces of twine. Merry Christmas!

They do not live in a hurricane zone. They do not live in a tornado magnet (otherwise known as a mobile home). There has never been any reported incidents of Jesus thieves in or around their neighborhood. In other words, there is no logical reason to tie the little plastic baby Jesus to anything. And yet they do.

Then they pray to him.

Ok I made that part up just so I could include that video.

Back to the real plastic baby Jesus.

I have used the display as a prop to make fun of my wife's parents' parenting style, "When you and your brother were babies, did they tie you down?" I have also used it to question why they want to imprison baby Jesus and prevent his escape. Referring to him as "bondage baby Jesus" is probably going a little too far... but that is kind of what I do.

Someday, I plan on sneaking across their driveway, under the cover of darkness, in order to liberate that little statue. But that will require a bit of planning. Maybe next year.

Some day that horse, I and baby Jesus will ride to freedom! Some day.