Back in 1978, nearly every seven year old boy in America was obsessed with Star Wars. I was no exception. How could I be? Star Wars was the greatest thing I had ever, or would ever see (that did not involve naked ladies). Therefore, when my grandma told me there would be a Star Wars Holiday Special on television in our own home, I nearly lost my mind.

Every morning, I woke up and asked, "Is it Friday yet?" For six days I ways wrong. But on that seventh day... Oh my gosh! Star Wars was going to be in my living room!!!!!!

We were pretty lucky to own a Betamax VCR so when Friday night rolled around, I was fully prepared. Not only would I be able to watch Star Wars characters on my TV on Friday night... I'd be able to watch them three times a day, every day, until I the day I died. I'm pretty sure it was the most excited I had ever been during my first seven years on the planet. My mom even asked if we should "pause the commercials" (which was amazing technology for the time) but I did not want to risk accidentally forgetting to "un-pause" which would lead to the horrifying fate of missing part of the show. (One year later I threw caution to the wind and tried pausing the commercials during the Captain America made-for-tv movie... and boy was I sorry!)

Please take a close look at those guest stars.
Now ask yourself, "How do they fit in Star Wars?

I still remember watching it that first night. I loved it. I watched it every day for the next year and continued to love it.

Because I was stupid!

Seven year old me was a complete idiot!

I now realize that The Star Wars Holiday Special is the worst movie I have ever seen in my entire life.

I am honestly not sure when I came to that realization, but I know for a fact I never watched it again after my stepfather brought home a bootleg copy of The Empire Strikes Back... while it was still in the theaters!!!! I'm pretty sure that made me the most popular kid in the fourth grade.

I believe I finally came to the realization of exaclty how terrible this movie truly is about fifteen years ago. I'm a geek, so I attend a lot of comic and toy conventions. Back in the early 2000s, a buddy and I found a copy of the Star Wars Holiday Special on DVD. He bought it. Then we proceeded to get nice and drunk (hopefully not on Zima) before watching it at my apartment. (Before you have kids, you have a ton of time to waste like this). Even with a healthy buzz as your ally, nothing could save this horrendous movie... because it is the worst movie in the history of time.

Although we continued to joke about it for years, neither of us ever watched it again... until last week when I discovered that the full movie was available on Youtube.

If you have read my previous posts, you know that I despised the Star Wars prequels when I first saw them. Then, something amazing happened. I watched the prequels while sitting next to my nine year old son... and I actually enjoyed them. The movies had not magically transformed into quality films (that would be impossible). Bu my son loved them (because apparently 9 year olds are dumb too... kidding). Seeing his eyes light up and hearing him cheer simply made for an incredibly enjoyable experience. By the time he asked, "Dad, how did they film this final battle scene in a volcano?" I was completely sold. These movies were not useless, they simply weren't meant for me.

With this bonding experience in mind, I asked Timmy if he would like to see the Star Wars Holiday Special. I thought that perhaps I was being too negative about the movie. After all, I loved it when I was seven. Watching the prequels with my son saved those movies. Maybe this would turn into a great father-son memory.

Unfortunately, Timmy said, "Yes".

Within the first ten minutes of the movie, my son turned to me and said, "This is the worst movie I have ever seen. What the heck are they doing?" (Apparently 11 year olds are not idiots.)

Yes Timmy. Yes it is.

But having been saddled with my DNA, he did not want to stop. He had started this. Now he wanted to be able to say he had seen the worst movie that had ever been made... in its entirety. That's my son!!!!

We spent the next 80 minutes joking about how awful the movie was. It turned out to be a great father-son moment after all... just for the exact opposite reason we thought it would be.

For the rest of Timmy's life, he will remember 2016 as the year he and his dad "enjoyed" watching the worst movie ever. I don't think he will forget it any time soon... neither will I.

At this point, I had intended to transition to a Geeky Dad's movie guide... but that will have to wait until tomorrow. There is simply too much that needs to be written. This "film" will require its own post in order to provide it the "justice" it deserves.

Sometimes an execution is seen as "justice" right?

Here's something to tide you over until tomorrow.

Will Chewbacca get home to his planet in time for the big Wookie holiday celebration?
I'll let you know tomorrow.

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