The NBA playoffs have become so boring, that today all of the sports talk shows are arguing about a hypothetical point spread that came out of Las Vegas.

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas... unless it is a nonsensical argument. Then it goes viral.

Apparently "some oddsmakers" (translation: people who want to create something to talk about today) have said that the 2016-2017 Golden State Warriors would be a 6 1/2 point favorite to beat the 1995-1996 Chicago Bulls. The 95-96 Bulls is the team that held the record for most wins in a season (72) until the Warriors broke it last year.

As a 46 year life-long basketball fan, I feel uniquely qualified to pontificate on this hypothetical situation (well at least on this platform because most of you whipper snappers are 30 or under. By the way... get off my lawn you hooligans!).

Back in my day, athletes who flopped were called "soccer players".

But there is one HUGE problem. I am from Chicago. I was in my late teens and early 20s when Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls were in their heyday. I studied every game. I have re-watched the 96 playoffs several times (have mentioned that I have never had a life?)

OK I was kidding about the qualifications. I clearly have none. I am just a fan... and a very biased one at that. But I have a keyboard and some stupid ideas so like every other idiot who took the obvious bait, I am going to waste my time arguing about something that is simply impossible to prove without the ability to time travel. If we do get that ability, can we please not waste it on making sports teams from different eras play each other? That is what video games are for. Besides, if we could actually prove our arguments, that would ruin all the fun. The internet has already ruined every bar bet... why let it ruin these important intellectual exchanges as well?

Marty! This almanac says that by 2023, all athletes will be paid in Steem!

As always, I like to put my argument in perspective. We already know I am a huge Bulls fan and saw their greatness unfold before my eyes. However, I am not a big Michael Jordan fan. I firmly believe he is the greatest basketball player ever. He is not the most physically talented player ever (but still top five) but there is no way I would ever pick anyone over him if my life depended on a team winning a game. And that is what made him so great. He played every game like his life depended on it. His drive to win was second only to... his hatred of losing. He hated losing. Some would argue it was so extreme that it was not mentally healthy.

Jordan played the entire second half of this game with his eyes closed. He only scored 26 points.

I simply like watching Scottie Pippen more. I liked his all around unselfish game... which was undoubtedly made better by being next to the greatest player ever.

I also respected Dennis Rodman's game and hung out at the some of the same clubs he frequented in Chicago. He was clearly a weirdo (so am I)... but he never "big timed" anyone.

Ladies and gentlemen... your 2016-2017 all scream team!!!

Now onto this year's Golden State Warriors. I can honestly say I have never seen anything like them (and I remember the "Showtime Lakers"). They are probably the greatest offensive team I have ever seen. They have two of the greatest scorers in the history of the NBA playing together in their prime. That simply does not happen. Then you toss in Klay Thompson who has the ability to score 37 points in a quarter. Sprinkle in a playmaking, do-everything, power forward and you are looking at a unicorn. There is not a single team in the NBA today that can possibly legally guard them. Perhaps the NBA, its sponsors, and its refs will combine with LeBron James to slay this unicorn (ooo that is gross... I hope my daughter doesn't read that) but even if this happens, I would stand by my statement that they cannot be legally guarded by any team in the NBA.

But here is the rub. People who have only heard of the Bulls' greatness may not know they were one of the best defensive teams ever. They were certainly the best defensive team I have ever seen. That team's starting lineup contained three of the greatest defensive players in the history of the game in Jordan, Pippen and Rodman. Their starting "point" guard Ron Harper was no slouch either (he is 65th all time in defensive win shares... so maybe it is 4 of the greatest defenders off all time).

We need to set some ground rules! And why wasn't I named to the all scream team?!

Before proceeding, I need to set a quick ground rule. Although there have been no major changes to the actual rules, each era had their "unique" way of officiating. For example, the clutching and grabbing in the past is no longer allowed. Conversely, the "Euro step" was simply called "traveling" back in the day.

For the purpose of this argument, I am assuming that these elite athletes would all adjust to the rule interpretations of the day and would still perform at a high level. Therefore, I am just going to pretend that the officials will call the game according to the actual rules in the NBA rule book. (I know the entire premise just completely fell apart because there is absolutely no chance of that happening... but the whole damn thing is made up so I can make that up if I want!)

Back to the game.

So we have a matchup of the unstoppable offense versus the impenetrable defense. What an awesome nonsensical argument to set up!!!

I have only mentioned 4 players for each team. Why? The 5th starter is a total throw away. I like Luc Longley but there is no way he was the deciding factor in any of the Bulls' games. The same goes for Zaza Pachulia (not the part about me liking him... he just looks like he smells really bad).

Although neither team had a great bench, they both had contributing 6th men. The Warriors' Andre Iguodala brings excellent defense with some good offense while the Bulls' Toni Kucoc brought the exact opposite. Each player complimented the starters well.

In order to avoid splitting hairs, I will call the benches a wash and just move on to the starting match-ups.

There are many possible matchup combinations. Perhaps you rest Durant and have him cover Rodman... but do you want Durant taking that punishment under the boards? Maybe Green guards Jordan for a while... but how many fouls can he give? In my opinion, there are many different match-ups, each with its own set of pluses and minuses. In the end, these are two incredibly evenly matched teams. In fact, I think it is a complete tossup... until you add in Jordan.

During the third quarter of this game, Michael Jordan played 6 minutes all by himself before the rest of the Bulls realized the time-out had ended and play had resumed. The Knicks outscored the bulls 13 to 12 during the six minute stretch. After the game, Jordan made himself run 23 laps as punishment for being outscored.

Between 1991 and 1998*...

Michael Jordan. Would. Not. Lose.

Is there any logic in that statement? Nope. Does that make it any less true? Nope.

The guy was a killer. I would argue the most cold hearted killer ever.

If you had to bet your mortgage on this game, could you ever bet against Michael Jordan? I know I couldn't.

Even if Jordan died at halftime, I think I would still probably pick his corpse to lead the Bulls to victory in the second half.

If you really need some concrete evidence, one merely needs to look at Jordan's performances in game 7s of the finals.

Oh wait. He never had any of those because Jordan always won in 6 or less.

Ok. I left myself wide open for shots on this one. Feel free to take some at me in the comments below. Who do you think would win this hypothetical match-up and why?

*Perhaps if Jordan didn't "retire" in the middle of the run, Olajuwan and the Rockets would have defeated him... but I doubt it.

Its tough to have a sports argument without tossing in some stats. If you need them, here are the traditional (old school non-scientific) stats for both teams from http://www.basketball-reference.com.

Vegas info from http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2713807-vegas-oddsmakers-would-favor-17-warriors-over-michael-jordans-96-bulls

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