Has the NBA completely lost its mind?

in funny •  5 months ago

If you are like me and have been following the NBA for the past week, you might be thinking, "This league has lost its damn mind!"





Here are some of the "interesting" moves, during that time:

It all started with The Clippers trading the coach's son (Austin Rivers) to The Wizards for a 7 foot tall gut with a mini-mohawk (Marcin Gortat).

And that is when the fun began.

A few days later, Paul George announced he was passing up on his childhood dream to play for The Lakers, left millions on the table, and decided to stay in Oklahoma City. This also lead to the Thunder breaking the record for highest luxury tax ever paid by a team ... by nearly $50 million! (They will pay over $140 million in luxury tax for the privilege of finishing no higher than 4th in their conference).

Then DeAndre decided to leave The Clippers (the team who " kidnapped" him and refused to leave until he agreed to resign with them back in 2015*) and join the team who he tried to join back in 2015, The Dallas Mavericks.

Next, LeBron decided to leave the incredibly easy path to the Finals he had created in the Eastern Conference and took his talents to LaLa land.





At this point, I figured LeBron would put on his GM hat and drive the franchise into the ground. It seemed that it was only a matter of time until LeBron would trade every young asset on the team for a superstar like Kawhi Leonard.

The Lakers made some additions alright. But none of them made me gasp. They all made me chuckle.

First JaVale McGee (star of Shaqtin a fool) decided to join the king. Although McGee had a great NBA Finals, he is still one of the biggest knuckleheads in the NBA. After leaving J.R. Smith in Cleveland, I would have thought LeBron would have wanted a break from knuckleheads. I guess not.





Then they added Lance freaking Stephenson. A guy who is more famous for blowing in LeBron's ear during a game than anything he has ever done on the court. It is clear that LeBron does not like playing against the very annoying Stephenson. I guess one way to assure that never happens is to put him on your team.

Just as I thought my head would fall off from shaking it so much in confusion/disbelief, the Lakers released a young up-and-coming star in Julius Randle (whom they had drafted #7 overall in 2014) in order to sign a 32 year old Rajon Rondo.

LeBron is most effective when he is able to penetrate and kick out to shooters. Do you know what none of those guys can do? SHOOT!




Giphy

There is still plenty of time for the Lakers to land a superstar (especially if they can package Luol Deng's contract with a young player or pick and get the Suns or Bulls to take it) but for now this is so much fun. And before you flame me in the comments, I realize that those are all one year deals and L.A. is keeping their powder dry for next offseason... but for now, it is delightfully silly!

Now here is the big one that lead to my epiphany. Arguably the most talented center in the NBA (who happens to also be the moodiest and the craziest) DeMarcus Cousins has agreed to join the World Champion Golden State Warriors!

What?!!!!!!

Here are his video-game-like stats from basketball-reference.com:


Screen Shot 2018-07-03 at 10.40.50 AM.png

The fact that he is moody and crazy may be neutralized by a great coach, respected teammates, and the fact that there simply isn't enough oxygen to sustain the crazy of both Draymond Green and DeMarcus Cousins.

I wonder what the record is for most technical fouls by a team?

I'll guess it is every team Rasheed Wallace played for.

Ok. Those are the insane moves. But what about the explanation?

How did this all happen?

Did you ever see The Twilight Zone?





Do you know how amazing, supernatural things happen there all the time?

Well we are all in a Twilight Zone episode.

In this episode, a 15 year old kid has wandered into a very special store located in Oakland, California (think the shop in Gremlins). An ancient, and strange man sits behind a counter. The boy spots a video game sitting on a dusty shelf next to a monkey's paw. He asks, "How much for the game?"

The old shopkeeper replies, "There will be no charge now... but you will have to pay the consequences later."

The kid shrugs, "Free game. Cool."

He grabs the game, hurries home, puts it in his PlayStation 4 and sees...





Wearing his favorite Golden State Warriors jersey, he enters "Franchise Mode". He makes sure the settings allow him to override trades and ignore the salary cap. Then he sets out to build his dream team. But wait. He already had that. (He is a Warriors fan after all). Not satisfied with beating LeBron only 6 times each year, the boy adds The King to the Lakers so he can have his Warriors pound him 8 times each season. Then he begins to add knuckleheads and non-shooters to the team. He also drops one of their best young players for nothing.

Then he sets out to build his perfect team. The only thing really missing is a center. So he adds an athletically gifted 6'11" beast who can score from the post, shoot, rebound and pass for the veteran minimum.

Before starting the season, he decides to grab a quick snack. On the way to the kitchen, he glances at the T.V. He sees that all of the silly moves he made in his game have all happened in real life!




I'm not sure how the teenager grew this beard or where his jersey went
...but it is the Twilight Zone.


He runs back to his game and tries to figure out how he can add Ariana Grande to his... ummm "living room".

Cue Rod Serling to say his famous closing line and fade to black.

Oh wait.

I forgot the consequence that needs to be paid.

Fans of at least 28 NBA teams don't get to enjoy the season.





Images 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

*https://losangeles.cbslocal.com/2015/09/26/what-really-happened-at-deandre-jordans-home-this-summer/

On a side note. This Twilight Zone theory may also explain why the commissioner of the league can not see himself in a mirror, be in direct sunlight, or eat garlic.



*Nosferatu

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This looks like you had a lot of fun writing it. :)

I am putting this here to make sure it lasts: The Warriors will be worse this year with Cousins than they were last year without him. Predictions that make you say hmm...

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Bold prediction. He is a complete head case so anything is possible, but if anyone can get him to play in a system for one year it is this group of players and coach. If they can get him to play in a system, I don't know how you can defend them.

The League has reached a new low as competition doesn't matter anymore, Fck the Warriors and all their soft bandwagon fans. And Boogie Cousins, I am shocked at your weakness, remember nobody wanted you in the NBA because of your asshle attitude, I wish you the worst.

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I seriously can't believe it. It is going to be so tough to watch games. Also there is no guarantee that he won't be such a pain in the ass that they deal him.

The collective bargaining agreement with max salaries destroyed the ability for small market teams to compete. At least in the 90s, you could offer your own FAs any salary you wanted. So if they really wanted to keep Durant in OKC they could have offered him $60 million per year.

Can’t beliece Boogie went to GSW! Starting lineup is crazy!

Man, it is the destruction of the nba

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Agreed, the offseason moves are the most anticipated stories since there’s no parity!

You'd think the league would demand more parity somehow. But basically, when Joe Lacob wants something, he goes out and finds a way to get it. Having a team full of nice guys (Draymond aside, and he's not a jerk to his teammates) also helps, I think. Unless the Lakers get Kawhi or pull some trade, they won't be competitive with this juggernaut. The W's team will run its course eventually, but barring injuries or someone else constructing a dream roster, it could be the team to beat for a few more years.

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I honestly think the max salaries in the collective bargaining agreement were the death knell for competitive balance. If you can get $35 million from Cleveland or $35 million from Miami, why not get two of your buddies to also sign deals in the 30s and have some fun?

I realize talking about $35 million seems ludicrous to us regular people, but we don't have a marketable skill that only 400 people on the entire planet have. As long as people pay to watch, download, wager, etc. the salaries will be high. But not allowing teams to break the bank for their own players is just silly.

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That's true. It's the only sport that's so dominated by the top players. The NFL does not have enough great QBs for every team to have one, but still a team can create a top-ranking defense and a well managed offense and be competitive without one of the Top 10 QBs in the game. Same thing in other sports; there are enough positions that you can be good to very good at many of them and be competitive without having bona fide stars. In basketball, it's the only path to winning and the few top stars would rather play together so they can increase their chances and play on a team for the ages.

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A few years ago when the lock out happened, I thought the 100 best players should have just put together a barnstorming league. Cut the owners out entirely. It is the only pro sport that could do it. They only need 10 -12 players per team. They don't need a farm system as the NCAA provides one for free. they could put their games on pay-per view. Perhaps each game could be played for a purse on the way to a championship.

Yes, it has lost its mind.

Now Jimmy Butler wants to play with Kyrie Irving.

Let's just put all the great players on the same 4 teams. Sacramento, Orlando, Atlanta, Cleveland, Detroit, and Denver have NO chance in this league anymore.

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I just read that too. Might as well just turn it into a 10 team barnstorming league.

The Warriors are essentially a Dream Team, and its a scary thought, and a main reason why I hate the NBA today. I could never imagine a team of Hakeem, Barkley, Pippen, Jordan and Stockton, but the Warriors have somehow managed to get top tier players at each position. I hope this trend dies soon, before it kills the NBA.

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5 starters that were all on the allstar team last year. That is nuts.

LOL while on the surface none of it looks to make any sense it actually does once you dig a little deeper.

Lakers - They managed to get the big fish in Lebron James. Now that they missed out on Paul George they are filling their team with a lot of friendly 1 year contracts so that they can either use them in trade pieces or create cap space for next year when they will look to spend big in free agency.

Demarcus Cousins - Kudos to the Warriors for taking a chance that for some strange reason other teams weren't willing to take. Cousins is coming off that achilies injury which has robbed athletes of their careers in the past. This will allow him to take his sweet time returning to the court. He is almost guaranteed to win a championship a long the way and prove his value to the rest of the league. Setting up a big payday next off-season.

Gotta love NBA free agency!

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It definitely isn't boring!

Boogie cousins man. I’m still in shock......🤔🤔

Upvoted! love the work you put in, very excited to see what will happen, the moves untill now are shocking!
Cousins at the Warriors really looking forward to see how everything will work out

Yes it’s ridiculous. I hate to say this as a Canadian and raptors fan but they need to eliminate conferences now that Lebron is in the West. The last time a non-Lebron East team won a ring was back in 2008. The competition is too soft in the East.

I read it all and I don't know any of these names of players and teams, f***k so much money being spent on stupid games, and nobody gets stabbed, slashed or burnt.

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No doubt the NBA is in full swing with these changes and new player signings in the teams now Golden will be more team with the arrival of Cousins

The NBA is getting more and more fascinating with these new moves with the hype of Lebron now broiling crisping up the meat to be served when the season start eyes are gonna be on whether or not the Lakers can aquire another superstar caliber player which is very unlikely due to cap space as reported on ESPN. This move for Lebron made more sense to him because he was already established in LA and his son is playing is at Sierra Canyon (Lebron and his son can become the only father son duo to actually play with each other on a team) that is something I would love to see I respect Lebron but, his plans for his future are probably more unclear than ever before who knows maybe he ends his career as a journeyman player playing for multiple teams like Shaq did.

The NBA is nuts. I stopped watching a few years ago. This seemz interestingly chaotic.

Ever since "small ball" became dominate in the league, I lost interest. I'm still a die-hard Laker fan so LeBron coming does make me a weeee-bit happier (I never liked LeBron tho)

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Wow, this is wonderful and very awesome

Let's talk a little bit about D.Cousins situation. He's injured. New Orlean doesn't want to risk and make a contract with him. That's clear.
Ok what happened next. Cousins made deal with Warriors only for a one year, yes for a small contract, only 5 million. The thing is,that he will not play until Christmas or even All-Star weekend. So he will come back hopefully only on February. And that's fine for Warriors. They're don't need a team leader, a guy who can go and score 20 points average. Cousins can focus now only on his healthy, and make sure that he will return fully recovered

Just imagine if he will made contract with some team, some weaker team..And then probably he will be pushed to come back strong to game, be a team leader and etc. Now he don’t need this, even Warriors don't need that. If Boogie will start play somewhere in the end of February, slowly, limited minutes..Good for him, good for Warriors to have that quality player from bench.
So for me is WIN WIN for both. And after one year Cousins hopefully will leave GSW and go to some weaker team, to make better statistics and then to make deal for a better contract. That' s what I’m thinking. Really smart move from Boogie !

They should just remove the salary cap at this point. Does it really matter when top players are taking monster paycuts and unbalancing the league? Anyway I'm sure the Knicks with all the money in the world would still find a way to screw it up.

That's a great sports.very funny .I like it.
Thanks for sharing this article.i appreciate your content.
Upvote resteemit

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