Because the average steemit community member was born in 1987, I am going to go out a limb and guess that many of you don't even know who Richard Simmons is.

I dare you to stare at this picture for 10 seconds. It will haunt your dreams!

Richard Simmons became famous in the 1980s for a series of workout video cassettes called "Sweating to the Oldies". He later went on to release other work out programs. One of his trademarks was speaking with people using the exercising program and crying with them. He'd hold their hands and hug them. He would say encouraging things. Then he would weep some more.

He had a very flamboyant personality and became a regular on David Letterman's late night talk shows. The interviews often ended with Richard Simmons being pranked by the host.

He also has a very unique sense of style.

Tony Horton eat you P90X heart out!

For the last week, every time I log onto the internet, I get an "update" about Richard Simmons.

In fact, today when I wanted to take a screen shot for this post here is what happened...

Two letters ladies and gentlemen.
He is so popular right now that it only took two letters for Google to know what I needed... Google knows everything!

But back to these "updates". I had to use quotes because theses "updates" have consisted of stories reporting that nothing had happened to Richard Simmons.

There was even one story that said that the police were involved. Do you you what they turned up? NOTHING!

Do you know why?

Nothing happened to Richard freaking Simmons!

Please don't me wrong, I don't wish anything bad to happen to Richard Simmons. He seems like a jolly guy who wanted to help people to get healthy... and make millions of dollars in the process. Actually, I hope good things happen to him. I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to read about these good things, but I wish him well.

This guy isn't exactly a shrinking violet.
I'm sure if something noteworthy happens, he'll let us know.

I literally have not thought of Richard Simmons since the last time he was on David Letterman. Even then, my only thought was, "I wonder why David Letterman is still so interested in Richard Simmons"?

Is this a sign that we have moved on to the next stage of news? Have we gone from "fake news" to "no news"?

Should I be on the lookout for other reports of nothing happening to fringe stars of the 80s?

I did a little "research" that I may publish as "no news".

William Katt, who was the star of The Greatest American Hero, may or may not have gone grocery shopping this week.

Yeah I took 17 items to the express lane. What are you going to do about it?

Phoebe cates from Fast Times at Ridgemont High, The Gremlins and several of my dreams I can never speak about in front of my mother, did not get out of a pool dripping wet and slowly saunter over to me while removing her bathing suit.

I am definitely not doing this right now.

Taco, who is responsible for "Putting on the Ritz" (Rolling Stone's 9th worst song of all time) is still trying hard to look like Gary Cooper. Super Duper!

Frankenstein's monster did a much better version (It's pronounced "fronk-en-steen"!)

Christian Laettner, former Duke basketball player and chest stomper, is still a douche.

Yeah people hate me because I go to Duke... it has nothing to do with me being a dirty player and complete asshat.

Do any of you have nothing to report about semi-famous people?

Please share in the comments below.