Back in My Day... Bad Retro Cartoons Part 2: Cartoons Based on Toys
A couple off weeks ago I wrote a piece about the worst Scooby Doo ripoffs of the 70s and 80s. Today I'd like to tackle the worst retro cartoons based on toys. Basically, the worst 22 minute long commercials ever made.
Kicking us off is...
Rubik the Amazing Cube
The moral of this picture: Ringer shirts were in.
You can slap a face and legs on anything. Oh and there is a dog.
Yes, this show really existed. I would like to pretend that I never watched this show, but alas... I can not. I will blame this on the fact that I had little brothers though. They were 4 years old and I think they actually liked it (kids are dumb).
The show centered around Rubik, a magical cube. When he was "solved" and all of the colors matched, he had magical powers including flight... and any other powers that were needed for each particular episode. The one power he did not possess was the ability to stay "solved". In order to create a little drama, characters (or more frequently animals) would scramble Rubik. Luckily the little kids who traveled with him always solved him just in the nick of time.
In addition to trying to evade an evil magician who had originally lost Rubik, the kids thought the best use of his magical powers was... you guessed it.... solving mysteries. So we have a nice hybrid of commercial and Scooby Doo ripoff. Just what America needed! Was it as dumb as it sounds? No. It was far worse.
Care Bears
This is adorable... until you realize what they are aiming at.
It's as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced...
by some adorable bears.
This is the only cartoon that I am aware of that was based on a toy line... that was based on a greeting card. In 1981, the Care Bears began as characters on American Greetings cards. This makes complete sense since they are as sappy as your typical greeting card. I can even see why they would expand into stuffed animals. Because it was the 80s, and the toys were successful, of course there needed to be a cartoon to help really push sales through the roof.
The show began in 1985 and ran through 1988. What can the plot of the show possibly be? Why do they shoot some kind of beam out of their furry little chests?
The Care Bears are protectors of the earth. What are they protecting the earth from you may ask... from "bad feelings" of course! Yes. Bad feelings are bad, better push them away. I'm no psychiatrist but I'm pretty sure that is terrible advice. Although a show about a group of cuddly bears who help kids accept their bad feelings, handle them appropriately and carry on with life probably would have been pretty boring.
The bears live in a city in the sky called "Care-A-Lot". If this is too subtle, the show also has locations like:"The Hall of Caring" and the "Forest of Feelings".
The bears all have a special power associated with the symbol on their chests. When they unite, they can do the "Care Bear Stare" to really bring the hurt (actually no... it shoots beams of "good energy") on a bad guy like No Heart, Professor Cold Heart, Shrieky, or Beastly.
I did not make any of that up...
The Adventures of Teddy Ruxpin
Gasp! Is someone actually watching us?
Before there was the beloved Ted, there was Teddy Ruxpin. For those of you too young to remember, this toy was released in 1985. The bears cost a whopping $69.99 (That is roughly $155 today). These bears could talk and even read books to your kids... so I guess parents could be replaced for $155. Maybe that isn't so bad... except that you are replacing a parent with a freaking machine!
Because parents were willing to fork over that kind of dough and the things sold out pretty quickly, of course there needed to be a 22 minute commercial for it. Enter "The Adventures of Teddy Ruxpin".
This show only aired for 1 season in 1987. I don't even know how to describe the "plot". Teddy Ruxpin and his best friend Grubby (the insect from the picture above) leave their island home in search of adventure. They meet a scientist named Dr. Gimmick and decide to go on a 65 episode long treasure hunt. Along the way they find some kind of crystals that the bad guys (called the "Monsters and Villains Organization") want. There is also a Troll that causes them trouble.
Some fans were in an uproar when the show abruptly ended in December of 1987. Apparently, the last episode was quite the cliffhanger as the Quellor, the leader of M.A.V.O., obtained one of the magic crystals. Will he get the remaining crystals and use them to do something that no-one understands? Sadly, the world will never know...
The call was coming from inside the house!
Did I miss any?
Were there any good cartoons based on toys?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rubik,the_Amazing_Cube
http://www.80scartoons.co.uk/carebears2.php
http://www.tv.com/shows/care-bears/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Care_Bears(TV_series)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Adventures_of_Teddy_Ruxpin
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0122811/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1
These are awesome! I always envisioned Care Bears blowing up the world...
This is funny, because my holi-art tomorrow is Rubiks cube inspired!
That's awesome! What is the holiday... if it won't ruin the surprise? Will your Rubik have a face and feet?
It's Guinness World Record Day!
Nope, not this time. haha I was pressed for time because I have company, so It's more of an abstract design.
We paid $125 for a Teddy Ruxpin....!! That would be double the amount you suggested for today's $$. We bought it for our son who was 5 at the time - so that when he woke up from having his adenoids removed, Teddy would be there. It was a lot to pay back then - 30 years ago!!
I didn't know about the Care Bears - I just knew I didn't like them. A lot of people today are still trying to push "negative" "bad" emotions and people away. We have to have both....I mean....haven't they watched Disney's movie Inside Out? That is where we get our truth after all. ;)
Surgery has got to be scary for a 5 year old. Can't blame you for dropping that kind of money to help him through that. That movie was very well done indeed.
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Care bears!! Haha! reminders from my childhood :)
Remember Gummy Bears? Not based off a toy but a candy. To this day I still feel guilty for eating them now that I know they have little personalities!