Guzman's thoughts - Funny quotes

I like to read quotes. Be it philosophical, self-help, funny, life and other type of quotes or thoughts from famous, successful or everyday people. Sometimes it helps us to get by, to have a new perspective in life and makes us think. So, from time to time, i make quotes of my own. I'm sharing some of them with you. This are a little nonsense, funny and weird. But, hey, sometimes i have nothing to do and i think about life. Even if it's a weird one. I hope you like this quotes that i like to call "Guzman's thoughts".

"The same sentence can be written with the right hand as with the left hand."

"I don't confirm it or deny it. If i have to confirm it, i will have to deny it too. But i can also confirm it and disprove it later."

"Music elevates our body and soul to certain heights. And the elevator too."

"It's no use crying over spilled milk, because milk mixed with tears does not taste good."

"Not all that comes to the net is fish... and the fish may not even come to the net... and the net may not even be good for fish... or the fish may even like a net, but he doesn't come."

"When you throw an apple into the air, you can't expect it to fly, because normally apples do not have wings."

"Behind every great car there's a license plate."

"Life is like a mixed sandwich: with ham, cheese and sometimes we can heat it in the microwave."

"From left to right, the calculated number may or may not be equal to the number counted from right to left, if it is sunny, because the shadow can mix the results."

"A way to end a common cold is to try to talk openly with it, send it away, and call a cab."

"A cheese helmet on the head makes you forget."