Last Days of the Drunk President

greenmask9 (55)in #funny • 7 years ago (edited)

Over the years of some shadow work behind the scenes, Czech people lost trust in their politicians. Like a saviour of the bad sittuation, he comes!

Miloš Zeman broke his promise never to return to politics and became president in 2013 with 24% support in the first round and 55% in the second round.

Lord of the Drinks

Tyrrion Lannister once said

Which leads to conclusion, that there is no more intelligent country than the Czech country. And there is no more intelligent Czech, than the Czech president, later known as

When Plebs Annoy The President

Some people are just plebs. They are not allowed to look at the naked president.

"Make this man suffocate" were his words and he pointed at the bad guy.

When the bodyguards threw him in the water, he reminded himself of constitution and had a mercy. This time!

Creative Interpretation of Constitution

Now, he has to fight for the presidency again. When Czech businessman and probably a criminal as well won with his movement parliamentary elections, he names Andrej Babiš a prime minister.

Considering his past with a lot of clandenstine practises, this one may be more accurate:

Miloš Zeman said, he will let this man govern without trust of parliament for the whole duration of election period. He had said, it is creative interpretation of constitution.

Powerful Ally

Miloš Zeman is hero himself. The highest rank commander of the Czech navy. Enjoy this romantic scene of himself as a captain of our cruiser:

His power, however, comes also from a powerful, possibly criminal, newly named prime minister Andrej. People are so proud of them, they started to print money with them:

Unfortunately, no one feels worthy being paid in these. Thus, they are completely worthless, even though, one million czech crowns would make it for 3 bitcoins and more.

I own Alligator

Once, he was asked by a reporter, if he likes technical advancements and if he owns a mobile phone. Miloš answered, he was gifted a phone and it is called alligator.

With his dangerous tentacles, he showed the reporter, how the real man's mobile looks like!

The Czech Republic, Its a Country of Heroes

By now, you should be convinced, that our ever-drinking president is so popular, it is not even worth trying to challenger him in the elections. Despite this fact, there are 8 other candidates. Let's look at the most dangerous ones.

Private Owner of Chemical Weapons and Unstable Opinions

Professor of chemistry, co-owner of 14 patents and former chairman of Czech academy of science. Jiří Drahoš comes on the scene with a history of inventions like plastic-cleaning formula. His opinions are always well-adapted to the public and he never expresses them the way, which would make him unable to change them in the future. It goes without saying that this man has many aces up his sleeve.

The Least Agressive Boxer

Pavel Fischer was rated the least agressive presidential candidate. The research was taking into account choice of words and way of speaking. No surprise that this man in a suit is just in-disguise warrior. Look at his hands.

Supporter of Crimea

Doctor and activist, Marek Hilscher, has given up assasination of Vladimir Putin after countless abortive attemts. He will run for a president and afterwards, from this position, he will negotiate with Russia fine trade-agreements and such with ease. It is a hard way though. Some hackers won't hopefully be an obstacle.

Man of Song

Have you heard of sirens? This man called Petr Hannig is like one of them. Singing in debates stuns the audience raising his support in the first round to 2%.

So, It Comes Down to Miloš Zeman and Jiří Drahoš Likely!

Miloš Zeman is strong. He even rejected to take part in any debate. His spokesman does this for him. This gave Jiří Drahoš opportunity to rise using chemically-prepared potions of pro-european mood to his advantage. I will speak more about the Czech presidential election after the results of the first round are ready on 14th January. For now, you can listen to some techno song, which Miloš Zeman sang in the European parliament.

What Is Truth in This Article? Real Facts

I must say I respect all candidates including the current president Miloše Zeman. This article is about 20 to 35% facts and the rest are just fun deductions and photographies. I aimed for fun presentation of a political sittuation in a country, you have probably never heard of.

A man marked Putin killer is a real presidential candidate and he really was active at this strange way, when Russia took the Crimea, which was likely in agreement with the will of most Crimeans.

As for Miloš Zeman, I agree with many of his opinions. His rude way of saying things made me turn away for him and support a candidate, who is not mentioned here (shall I speak about others? leave a comment). Greece and Italy failed to protect EU borders and were not charged for it. Germany endangered Schenghen zone by their invintation of refugees and was not charged for it. Those who agreed to grant subsidies to projects of non-europe-wide meanings, which is against EU's own agreements, were not charged for it. Middle to Eastern European countries like Czech Republic, Poland and Hungary got charged for rejecting refugees.

There is a hint that Wests betrayed us once again. We tolerated their mistakes and expected them to take responsibility by themselves, thus there was trial nor anything else, when they broke what they should have followed. And Martin Shulz, a man whose position our former prime minister Sobotka suported, wants to kick us out of the Union in case we don't pay for their mistakes.

Miloš Zeman is a rude and very pro-East president. But he realizes the mess the European Union became. And one more thing: the arrogance of France and Germany may be intimidating. But they are still only members of EU as we are. If they want to break European Union, they are on the right way. Loosing the yesterday accusation for not taking refugees will high-likely mean, EU will not live for long in the current form.

Thank you for reading!