Here in Canada we like to laugh, we don't take ourselves seriously almost to a fault and we're always joking around.

This post is inspired by @fat-elvis and his contest that was asking for people to submit jokes about Canadians.

So this post I thought I'd carry that theme and tell ya a few Canadian jokes tonight.

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First let's start with a Canadian pickup line..

"Girl you must be a maple tree because I'd definitely tap that!"

And now some Canadian Zingers

Did you hear about the war between Newfoundland and Nova Scotia?

The Newfies were lobbing hand grenades; the Nova Scotians were pulling the pins and throwing them back.

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What do you call a sophisticated American?

A Canadian

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What's the difference between an American and a Canadian?

A Canadian not only has a sense of humour but can also spell it.

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What do urine samples and Canadian beer have in common?

The taste

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What's the difference between a canoe and a Canadian?

A canoe tips

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Who would win in a fight, Justin Bieber or Chad Kroeger?

We all would

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How do you get 50 Canadians out of a swimming pool?

Say in a calm voice "please get out of the swimming pool"

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How do tell a Canadian abroad?

They're the ones that thank the ATM for giving them money

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What did the Albertan ask the Eiffel Tower tour guide?

How many barrels of oil does she pump a day?

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One day Canada will rule the world and then everyone will be sorry

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And a few jokes maybe only Canadians will get..

A Cape Bretoner walked into the local Welfare Office, marched straight up to the counter and said, "I'm here to pick up my welfare cheque, but I really hate drawing welfare. I would really rather find a job."

The person behind the counter replied, "Your timing is amazing! We just received a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in a big black Mercedes and the suits, shirts, and ties are all provided. Because of the long hours involved, meals will also be provided and you will be required to escort the young lady on all her overseas holiday trips. The salary package starts at $250,000 a year with room and board and bonuses."

The Cape Bretoner said, "You've got to be bullshitting me!"

The clerk behind the counter said, "Yeah, well you started it.."

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Why do First Nations people hate snow?

Because it's white, and all over their land

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There's a couple at an airport in the states waiting to board a plane to Europe. They look over to see a line of Canadians, all dressed in parkas, waiting to board a plane back to Canada.

The wife says, "I wonder where they are going?" and the husband replies, "well I guess I'll go ask them."

So he strolls over and asks the last person in line "where are you flying to?" And the fella replies, "Saskatoon Saskatchewan."

The husband walks back to his wife and she asks, "so where are they flying?" And the husband replies, "I don't know they don't speak English."

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Why do Canadians prefer to do it doggy style?

So she can watch the hockey game too

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What does the U.S have that Canada doesn't?

Good neighbors

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Last one

What happens when a person from Windsor travels to the U.S?

The average I.Q of both countries goes up

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Hope you got a chuckle. If you have a Canadian inspired joke please leave it in the comments.

Thanks eh,

@goldenarms

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