Douchebag Genie Is Back, But On Steem. And As Will Smith.

in #funny5 years ago (edited)

You've been granted one wish by the new and improved Douchebag Genie (played by me, Will Smith). I take advantage of people's poor wording when making wishes to screw them over. What do you wish for?


Damn I look good in blue n' bling.

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I wish for infinite genies.

You get infinite douchebag genies.

They're freed douchebag genies and will just mess with you for the rest of time rather than grant any wishes.

That saves my next wish, more friends!

You get many new friends. All your new friends secretly hate you and are using you.

If they are using me for my body, I'm cool with it.

I wish that I had invented this page before you did and also that all my crypto comedy skits go viral. (sits back and waits for wish to get rekt,)

You invented this page before I did. You spent $100 on promotion, it gets flagged to 0 for spam.

All your crypto comedy skits catch the Ebola virus.

hahahahha NICE!!

I wish more people on steemit realized that short, funny, engaging content that actually causes people to look at the post, comment and enjoy themselves has tremendous value.

oh yeah, he about to rekt you with this wish hahaha

Can you please keep the wishes realistic in the future.

Steem learns how to be a social network. You made thousands of Facebook, Twitter and Reddit employees loose their jobs.

Thank you!

Waiting for the douche-baggery...

Oh them losing their jobs was it?

Don't worry, steemit can hire them.

If not...

Hmm, looks like I didn't fuck you over enough...
Steems trending page now only consists of short, funny, engaging content. And topless selfies of the @douchebag-genie. All the devs are fed up and decide to become EOS developers instead.
Your stake is now worth $0.02.

Yep. That is plenty fucked over.

Also quite possible.

I wish people knew how not possible this was :)

Dude! You are going to jinx it!

But it is good to know that the devs are all super into topless genie pics. I will start googling now.

I wish for a 1 million SP delegation for life!!! YAAAAS! That's what I wish for!

I will give you a lifetime steem power delegation exactly one minute before you pass away.

You better deliver, because you know that day will come! And you know I will do at least one self upvote with it! You know it!

Steem might even be worthless by then.

I wish nothing negative could come out of this wish.

Posted using Partiko Android

Nothing positive came out of this wish. You used your only wish.

It's so meme worthy, however that may have been the initial idea.

I wish for more wishes. 😎

You get more wishes, but you have to make a wish every day.

Every wish you make will fuck you over put your life in danger.

I become free, but you get trapped in the lamp. I'll come visit you from time to time buddy.

Thanks, you could have cleaned up a little before you left tho! and why does the sink back-up constantly, and jeez the closet smells so bad when you approach, I can't bring myself to look inside, maybe next time you visit you could take a look

Sorry about that mate, I left 2014's unsealed Christmas home-brew in the closet, my nose doesn't work. I reckon you could still drink it and have yourself a whale of a time.

As for the sink, just wash your hands in the toilet bowl like a normal person.

I wish you would upvote my posts from now to all posts in the future

I like all your posts forever but you will stop posting tomorrow due to terminal diarrhoea.

I wish that I want to be a whale and distribute rewards to articles written by Japanese people.

Posted using Partiko iOS

You distribute dried fecies to Japanese journalists as rewards.

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