Congratulations to 30,000 New Geminis! Astrology for Sea Lions.

in #funny3 years ago (edited)

SeaLionPixabay.jpg

Most of us have taken a personality test at one time or another. According to the widely used Myers-Briggs scale, there are sixteen different personality types. These begin with four main areas and then delve deeper into the uniqueness of each person’s personality traits. For example, some people are very extroverted while others are more introverted. Some perceive the world around them while others judge it.

Personality tests are not perfect, but overall they get it right much of the time. Taken together, the different personality types describe the diversity in human personalities quite well. Some say they work quite well for animals also (of course they do, since we project our own personalities so heavily on our pets). And that's even before we get into pet astrology.

cat astrology.jpg
Source: Tarot.com

Astrology covers personality types also

Astrology is a pseudoscience that has developed over centuries. While it may have no scientific validity, the 12 signs of the western zodiac do a reasonable job describing a variety of human personality types. For example, someone born between March 21 and April 20 is categorized as an Aries (Ram). Astrology-Online, a prominent site within this field, describes some of the Aries personality traits as “Adventurous and energetic, pioneering and courageous, enthusiastic and confident…Selfish and quick-tempered, impulsive and impatient…”

Whether or not we trust in astrology (I generally don’t), we all know people in our own lives who meet this description. The Aries personality type is a born leader, someone who is courageous, pioneering, and takes risks. Where would humanity be today without people like Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, Aretha Franklin, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Colin Powell, Maya Angelou, Al Green, Elton John, Diana Ross, Lady Gaga, Pharrell Williams, and Booker T. Washington, among others? That list includes an astonishing number of creative people from the arts, for example, all of them with birthdays between March 21 and April 20.

AlGreen.jpg
Big Al Green

But just for a thought exercise, let’s imagine humanity WITHOUT that personality type. In fact, let’s go a few steps further and eliminate most personality types. Let’s eliminate 75% of all personality types, leaving us with just 25%, a huge blow to the mental diversity of humankind. Assuming that the main human personality types are represented in the 12 signs of the western zodiac (ignoring any rumors of a 13th sign), then that would mean eliminating nine signs.

On the astrological personality scale, we are deleting nine months from the calendar. Perhaps more accurately, we would be requiring that all babies must be born in a three month period of the year. If that were accomplished, then we would have erased 75% of all astrological personality types, leaving us with just three months of them rather than twelve.

Why would we do this? Don’t worry; I’m just trying to get you thinking like a sea lion.

Sea lions are closely related to seals, but slightly different in their behavior and physical traits. On the West Coast of North America, most California Sea Lions are born on the Channel Islands that lie offshore from Los Angeles. Every year, surrounded by sharks, this is ground zero for pupping.

CasealionWired.jpg
Source: Wired

To ensure that their migration patterns match up with those of the opposite sex for future reproduction, ALL California Sea Lions from this part of the coast are born in a period of less than 10 weeks of the year (though some others are born further south, beginning earlier). Most are born in a two week period. And according to scientists…

…HALF of all these California Sea Lions from the Channel Islands are born on a single day.

For the sea lions born on the Channel Islands, where most of the pupping occurs, June 15 is the day most likely to be in the middle of the pupping period. Half of all sea lions are born on that one day in the middle of the pupping period.

So if there are 60,000-70,000 sea lion pups born per year, then around 30,000 of them have the same birthday, same birthplace, and same astrological sign. (In fact, many more than half probably have the same sign, since Gemini lasts for a month, not just a day.)

Here is a short video showing how sea lions live:

They’re a lot like us. Why can’t sea lions have astrology, too?

If they did, then sea lion astrologists would have a fairly easy task. It’s like working as a weatherperson in a desert region where the weather is similar most of the time (hot and dry today, hot and dry tomorrow, hot and dry next week, etc.).

In the case of these California Sea Lions, all of them are born under three signs of the western zodiac: Taurus, Gemini, and Cancer. The vast majority (perhaps nearly all) would be born under the sign of Gemini (May 22-June 21) with a smattering of Taurus and Cancer births as well.

So these sea lions have effectively eliminated nine months of the astrological calendar, using just three months, and one in particular. There is an extreme imbalance with more than half of the sea lions as Geminis (which, ironically, is the sign known for balance). The upshot, if one believes in astrology, is that most sea lions would have similar personality traits. Their profiles would fall within a very limited range of diversity, mostly just one type. And that doesn’t seem like much fun.

SleepingSeaLionsFlickrCCTonyHisgett.jpg
SeaLionsCCflickrM01229.jpg
Source: Creative Commons via Flickr. Top: By Tony Higsett. Bottom: By M01229.

Is astrology bullshit, if it fails when applied to an animal that is about 80% identical to humans?

I’ll let you decide. But first, you need to see the forecast for these California Sea Lions.

If sea lions were tuning in to their horoscopes, most of them would be focused on the outlook for Geminis.

A quick check of Astrology.com gives us the daily horoscope for Geminis for June 16, 2017, the first full day of life for many of these pups:

If you remain calm, cool and collected right now, your performance rating will soar. You may be paying a price for your independence and uncompromising attitude. You might have joined the wrong team, but it's too late for regrets. Jump overboard at the first sign of trouble, but think fast once you start swimming. Nobody wants to be at the wheel when the ship goes down... Gemini, June 16, 2017, Astrology.com

That describes sea lions remarkably well. Performance ratings for sea lions, yes! Those are absolutely critical, no question. What future employment prospects would they have without strong performance reviews? They should focus on maximizing those opportunities now. Seize the day.

“Independent and uncompromising”? Stay off my rock, Jack. That describes every sea lion I’ve ever met. “Remain cool, calm, and collected”? My contradiction detector is beeping. It’s marvelous advice at all times, except when you’re fighting some fat bull seal over an ocean rock on which to sun yourself.

“Jump overboard at the first sign of trouble”? This thing was written for sea lions, I tell you! “Think fast once you start swimming”? Think like a mammal, swim like a fish.

SeaLionsBoatflickrCCDonDeBold.jpg
Source: Creative Commons via Flickr by Don DeBold.

“Nobody wants to be at the wheel when the ship goes down”? Of course not, unless you’re the captain. But this seems awfully redundant, since they already told us to jump and swim fast. Let somebody else ignore the advice and steer for a distant star…starfish.

In conclusion, the astrological outlook for sea lions appears to be quite rosy (I mean, fishy). At last count, there were approximately 7,000 professional astrologers in the United States. Can we spare one for Sea Lions? It doesn’t pay much, but Geminis make up more than half of your clients, so the job shouldn’t be that tough. It comes with a corner-of-the-rock office and all the fish you can catch.

References

Myers-Briggs MBTI: https://www.opp.com/en/tools/MBTI/MBTI-Step-I
Selkie Legend: http://www.ancient-origins.net/myths-legends/legends-selkies-hidden-germs-sea-mythology-006409
Sea Lions: http://www.sfgate.com/science/article/Half-of-California-s-sea-lions-were-born-on-11226371.php
Sea Lions (NOAA): http://www.westcoast.fisheries.noaa.gov/protected_species/marine_mammals/sea_lion_UME.html
CA Sea Lions: http://www.iucnredlist.org/details/41666/0
Aries Famous Figures: http://soultrain.com/2013/03/27/lucky-stars-famous-aries/
Zodiac Signs: http://www.astrology-online.com/persn.htm
Zodiac Statistics: http://www.statisticbrain.com/zodiac-sign-statistics/

Still.png
Source: Still image from https: //www. youtube. com/watch?v=ZB83GCgDApg (extra spaces inserted in address to prevent automatic embedding)

Top photo: Public Domain (Pixabay)

Sort:  

Funny post - love the lateral thinking @donkeypong. Upvoted and following you. I actually like sealions a lot - very playful and intelligent - a bit like my wife and yes she's a Gemini!

Lateral thinking. Maybe I'm finally understanding how my brain works.

What about astrology for the whales? Oh wait, they have steem. :-)

Got in early. More blubber than the rest. :)

Well, they are remarkably smart mammals, so it's only natural!

They have the powerrrrrrrrrrr....of STEEM, get it? :p

You explain the philosophy of animals, this is a perfect explanation, although sometimes it looks funny.
Thank you @donkeypong for sharing

Thanks. It is supposed to be funny, but I'm not always sure people respond to my sense of humor.

Yes, it also looks funny to me, but great to a nice explanation.
Perfect for you.

Your sense of humor is always on point and your style of writing is brilliant. Facts mixed with sarcasm and humor - best part is - I think I actually learned something too :-)

Undoubtedly many people read their horoscopes just for entertainment value, or as a topic for conversation. But some people attach scientific credence to astrological predictions and regard astrology as a valid way of understanding human behavior. Fkn great read @donkeypong..new follower now, cheers!

Awesome Blog I have swam with Sea Lions Many times I am glad they are Harmless! Unless you run into one like this! LoL =]

Great and funny pic :0) upvoted

I love the idea of apply astrology to animals! It's a very cute idea. Nice post :)

There is so much more to understand in humanity. I believe people in the old days (Say up to 2000 years ago) had a better connection with the universe as we have right now. If you ask me it's not religion why we lost the connection, in fact religion is way more universal than we can comprehend. No the reason why we lost our conenction is the lust for power, the lust to conquer other civilizations. It was there before but really started around the times of the Roman Empire. I admire people who know their ways around Astrology as they usually have a good knowledge of peopple.

Cheers and Steem on mate!

Absolutely. There are good people in that field, which is based on a long history of observation. That said, putting people into boxes based upon when they are born is very restrictive and not yet been shown to have any scientific validity. It's even more restrictive for sea lions. :)

I'm not a firm believer of "Scientific Validity" as most science is sponsored by the ones looking for the results. My Grandmother used Tarotcads to read the future and she was 100% right everytime. However there was no proove she would be correct upfront.

Regarding the "putting in a box". You can't put the universe in a box.... People are the way they are. You simply can add certain types to certain boxes. Heck, I see myself as a unique individual but on any given day I can come across two or three guys wearing exact the same, having the same haircut and have the same attitude as me. It really is as it is.

Good points. Science only measures what it has tested and knows. But with something like astrology, even if there are guideposts based on something real and tangible, the practice also is open to an awful lot of opinion and guesswork. Some peoples' intuition is spot-on, though.

This is great, I never thought about animals having astrology, and definitely not sea lions! Maybe, I need to sign up for the job. Although the clientele may get a bit boring with all them being so similar.

That food requires some thought. Sea Lions with split personalities... I may never get in the ocean again...

Great article about personality traits and the relation to astrology and animals. It makes you think how each are related and what affects us!

Very nice article. Great idea on apply astrology to animals. I RESTEEM the Blog.

I'm not sure "balance" is the right word for Gemini unless you consider multiple personalities "balanced".... I would more use the term "polarized". Definitely not stable at any rate.

Able to hold opposing views in balance or maybe create synergy. Definitely not stable.

In my experience it tends to be more swinging from one extreme to the other for no apparent reason... Though perhaps as an Aries/Pisces cusp I set the bar a little to high for balance and synergy.

It is great story. Thanks. I do not believe in astrology as well. You make me think about it:) But I love the power of nature to show them how to survive. It is just perfect adaptation. The power of nature is actually the reason why we are saving Abongphen Highland Forest in Cameroon. We should stop underestimating it. Thanks for your support.

I like how you've incorporated astrology into this. So many people just ignore that. I like Chinese astrology as well. So with that into account, I am a piscean earth dragon. Interesting combo of traits, and i think my piscean side tames the dragon a bit and it all balances out well in the end. As for the myers briggs, I score heavily on the introverted /feeling end of things. To add to the mix is the fact that I am an HSP/empath. Everyone has just such rich qualities when your take all these things into account. Upvoted and look forward to your future content.

Thank you. This piece was a bit satirical as far as the way I treated astrology, but I respect that it works for you.

I noticed but I treat astrology different. In terms Of personality traits only. I dont go so far as to check horoscopes and all that lol

You must visit India, here we believe that stars and planets influence life at every single step. Before any marriage here they take horoscopes of both the bride and groom, look at how the stars influence them individually and predict how it will influence their marriage in the future! @donkeypong

Yes, I've been there once and would love to return. :)

My account was just approved, this is the very first article I read, I wasn't sure what I expected of this site, but if the content is mostly like this I will be in heaven. XD Beautifully written, and yes, I'm a Gemini. Thanks for letting me know that adorable Sea Lions are just like me!

Well, welcome to Steemit, then! I hope to see you around.

Fantastic animals

In India we take astrology very seriously. Before every big phase or new starting in our life, we consult astrologers and priests and ask them is this the good time to start it. If not they correct it by telling us to do some rituals. This may look absurd and non sense but still in India it is being used and believed.

If it works for them, then who am I to say that it doesn't? But would it work for sea lions?

I do not know , you should consult astrologers or priests for it.

I love sea lion~~

Sea lions great creatures :) Thanks for sharing!

Great post. I do not believe that much in astrology.

30000 born same day? lol. Inetersting.

haha this sounds like a fun idea.
I'd love for sea lion geminis to be the next big thing :)

astrology is just pure BS ..rgds.

Hahaha, what a cute ideea, we all love animals.

Interesante publication os leões de mari
nós

We are all sea lions !!

I'm Gemini. Thank you for connecting me with 30k brothers and sisters in astrology

I don't really believe in astrology, but applying it to animals seems like fun :D

There are times when the personality in the zodiac is not 65% of what is mentioned in the zodiac, but for some people the zodiac is just as entertainment to see his own personality.

I am bookmarking this one. You are quite smooth with debunking tactics.

Great post. But I do not believe that much in astrology

Neither do I.

Nice :)

I like your name @donkeypong ,
Bahah, crack up everytime,

good post...I like this.

beautiful photos...
those seals are soooo cute..!!
upvoted and followed..!!
m new to steem it do give a visit to my account if possible :)
thank you :)

Very new type of thinking good one

Keep this type of work on,iam followed you buddy.

wow,... posting sangat lucu

good post ,my friend

I think I am in love :D :D

They're very cute, aren't they?

cuteee , I am dying +-----+

You skipped right over me, from March and April to June (May rocks, lol) Though I've never been a big horoscope individual, I have found that the times I've taken a look at them they're pretty good--maybe I'll go look mine up right now :)

@donkeypong, If they tell him for our own good, why can not it be, is not it for our good

Good post...

That was an awesome in depth post... I'm curious, how long do you think it took you to write that article?

Really nice geminis for sea lions . looks like great pet. upvote and follow

@donkeypong Have you seen that movie The Secret of Roan Inish? You might love it! http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0111112/

I like see lion.. Amazing.. Nice

Funny post. Love the thinking :0) love the sealions. Followed upvoted and resteemed. Thx for sharing

Nice post! I enjoyed these little cute sea lion :) thank you @donkeypong

Very nice and funny article ! They're so cute. Upvoted and following you to see more ☺

Lovely post :D
I grew up with 1 parent very superstitious. "No ship art across a bathroom otherwise money will go down the drain," was the funniest one for me.
I occasionally check tarot (and less rarely horoscope) when I'm bored. As a kid I used to read horoscopes from magazines, but I'd read all of them and see how many apply to me, I think it was 10 out of 12 usually. :P
In reality I am an artistic Aries, without leadership skills. :D

nice bro..
i followed your steemit account because of your supportiveness in steemit community please help me raise my steem power thanks ..