Filipino Jokes Translated for Western Tastes Part 56 (My Entry for Comedy Open Mic - Round 20)

in #funny3 years ago


Good day, my fellow Steemers and Whalesharers! This is the 56th part of my series post about local Filipino jokes which I have translated for people of the English language. Please read and pick the ones you like best from this post series. Tell me in the comments section on why you liked it.

I think nobody in Steemit and Whaleshares has done this kind of post series before. So I took it upon myself to do it even if you think it might not be popular or profitable. I just wanted to be the first to do this kind of thing. It would be up to you to decide, my fellow readers, if I was successful or not.

There are still a lot more Filipino local jokes that we need to be translating. These jokes are the products of the Filipinos' creativity, ingenuity, and love of social drinking.

Read and enjoy!

The test results

TEACHER: Class, here are the test results! John got 99%...
JOHN:(Standing up and boasting) Yes! You all can't compete with me! Better go home you all! You're all wasting your mommies' tuition fees!
TEACHER: The rest of you all got 100%!

Foolish passenger

CHARLIE: Why did you happily get off the train?
TONY: I fooled the train conductor! I bought a round-trip ticket but I won't ever ride back on that train again!

Smart kid


TEACHER: Are you smart?
KID: Yes, teacher!
TEACHER: Okay answer this math problem. What is 2 books + 2 books?
KID: 4 books.
TEACHER: 4 books + 3 books?
KID: 7 books.
TEACHER: Very good! How about this one? 300 books + 500 books + 1500 books + 3500 books? What's the answer?
KID: Oh, ahh...A library!

Excuse of the horny

BOYFRIEND:(Calling girlfriend) Babe, I'm going there! I don't care if gas prices are high these days!
SEXY GIRL: Okay, babe, I'll wait for you. I'll get ready.
BOYFRIEND: I can't wait to hold and kiss you...I'm going now!
SEXY GIRL: Oh, just to let you know...I'm on my period today!
BOYFRIEND: Damn, my motorcycle broke down! I can't go.
SEXY GIRL: Why don't you ask your friend to fetch and give you a ride as usual?
BOYFRIEND: Bad news...He was shot by a rival gang 2 days ago! I can't really go.
SEXY GIRL: Nevermind, I think my period won't be coming today.
BOYFRIEND: Good news! My friend texted that he came out of the hospital today and he can give me a ride in his car! Yes, I can go!
SEXY GIRL: Oh, no! My period suddenly came!
BOYFRIEND: Son of a bitch! My friend was shot again!

The prison escape


WARDEN: Sir, some prisoners are attempting to escape!
PRISON DIRECTOR: What?!? Secure all EXITS!

After 2 hours...

WARDEN: Sir, those prisoners have escaped!
PRISON DIRECTOR: What?!? How did they do it???
WARDEN: Sir, they went through the ENTRANCE!

Translated from Source:

Follow me as @darthnava: "Look at this itch...Isn't it neat? Don't you think my post is complete?"


hello!my dear friend how are you?
your post very interesting,i like your post,support your funny post,thank you so much for sharing your funny post,

Thank you, my friend. I am fine.

You got a 1.11% upvote from @minnowvotes courtesy of @darthnava!

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