10 Funniest Quotes and Sayings

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often. Oliver Herford

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. Elbert Hubbard

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Margaret Mead

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me. Alice Roosevelt Longworth

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. Isaac Asimov

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. Ron White

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. Mark Twain

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I. Oscar Levant

We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know. W. H. Auden

One advantage of talking to yourself is that you know at least somebody's listening. Franklin P. Jones