Coco's Advice Column for Men - Lesson #1

Coco's Advice Column for Men - Lesson #1
I've always wanted to teach men how to be Gentlemen, treat a Lady, be more confident, get in touch with their masculinity etc.. So many great guys just don't have a clue, are socially awkward and sabotage their own happiness because nobody has taught them basic awareness and social skills. I've had a bit of life experience and have had some best male friends throughout the years...but it wasn't until after my experience today at lunch that I decided it was time to begin "Coco's Advice Column for Men".

Lesson #1 Do not blow your nose and proudly inspect your snot at the table.
Today at lunch at our work cafeteria a very handsome and elegantly dressed man sat down across from me. A woman needs 3 seconds to inspect a man. His hair was neatly cut, he smelled of expensive cologne and his suit was tailored to fit his body perfectly. This was a man who took great pride in his appearance, seemed to be sophisticated and distinguished. I relaxed. After smiling and nodding at me, he started peacocking. This happens when a man senses an attractive person of the opposite sex. His posture changes, he puffs his chest out and send pheromones in your direction. (Women do this as well. I could always tell by my sisters posture if a man she was attracted to entered the room. Her posture changed, her breasts came out, her eyes widened, her lips puffed out and even her cheekbones became higher!). Anyway,"peacock man" and I ate in polite silence in the very loud cafeteria. Peacock man must have had spicy food because his nose began to run. Peacock man politely turned his head to the side (away from me) to blow his nose...as is customary and normal in Europe. However peacock man then committed an unforgivable faux pas. He turned back in my direction, opened his kleenex and curiously and proudly inspected his snot. After which he crumpled up said kleenex and threw it on his tray (right across from mine) next to his full plate of food and began eating again. I could see the snot seeping through his kleenex just a few inches away from my tray. As I was trying to politely ignore this and not lose my appetite, peacock man again took notice of my presence, politely smiled at me and began peacocking again. Dear Gentlemen....when a Lady witnesses something like this she is no longer contemplating your lovely suit or smile...she is thinking "Gross Dude! Did you grow up in a barn?" and her potential of attraction for you is forever dead. You killed it dead. Do not bother continue peacocking. You smile at her but all she sees is the snot running out of your kleenex.

This has been a public service announcement.

I hope you enjoyed your first installment of Coco's Advice for Men.
Future lessons will include raggedy wallets & belts, the bachelor look, dirt under fingernails, when was your last dental cleaning?, holes in underwear are not sexy, your shoes smell like Doritos, nobody believes your overcomb & I am not your Mama.