Too Many Curses - Part I - A script Idea For THE PLAYHOUSE with Carrie Allen
And just what is
?
It's "...the only Steemian interactive sketch comedy show. We perform all-original material every Friday night, and we invite YOU the listener to join in the fun! Through the STEEMSTAR Discord Server, we're able to facilitate hilarious interaction between players from all over the world! Check us out on Friday night, through @carrieallen's channel."
-@chrisroberts
The following is a script idea for the show, to be performed on tonight's episode. Hope you enjoy it!
Too Many Curses
The Characters:
NARRATOR
PUDDLEFOOT, Prince of Frogs
CUMBERBUND, Frog Prince
PRINCESS ISABELLA
THE FROGGY GODMOTHER
THE FAIRY GODMOTHER
ANAESTHESIA, proprietress of Ye Olde Cursed Royalty Tavern
NARRATOR
A placid pond on the edge of the grounds of the royal estate, near the old well. Two frogs, Cumberbund and Puddlefoot, are lounging on a lily pad of impressive proportions, discussing various matters of little import to anyone but themselves.
PUDDLEFOOT
What about Lucretia, she's pretty? Got those nice long legs. Jumps like, really far. And her eyes bulge in the most fetching fashion...
CUMBERBUND
Ugh. How many times do I have to tell you? I'm NOT A FROG. I'm a human prince, under a terrible curse. Look, no offense, ok, but I'm just not into amphibian girls.
PUDDLEFOOT (eagerly slurping up a passing fly)
Zzzzzaaaaap! Slurp. Mmmmmm. Bluebottle, delicious!
CUMBERBUND
Yeah, if you say so.
PUDDLEFOOT
Oh come on, cheer up. Life isn't so bad. Just look at all these yummy insects everywhere. Beautiful summer afternoon. Pretty soon it'll be evening and everybody'll be out here ribitting and carrying on. It'll be fun!
CUMBERBUND
Look, Puddle, I know you're my best friend and everything. But you belong here. You're crown prince of the Frog Pond Kingdom. These are your people. Me, I'm just here biding my time until I can get Princess Isabella's attention and convince her to kiss me, so I can break this stupid spell and resume doing cool human stuff. Like walking upright, and wearing clothes.
PUDDLEFOOT (sarcastically)
Yeah, that sounds AWESOME. I bet you really miss that.
CUMBERBUND
Awww forget it.
PUDDLEFOOT
Hey look Bundy! It's the princess. Now's your chance man! Go talk to her.
CUMBERBUND
What?!? Is it her? Really? I dunno... I mean, what would I say to her? She's so hot. She probably thinks frogs are gross. I'd only embarrass myself. Maybe I should just let go of the whole breaking the curse idea and resign myself to this disgusting, slimy fate.
PUDDLEFOOT
Ok, I'm going to pretend I didn't hear you say the "d" word. Thanks for calling your fate slimy, though! That's quite a compliment.
CUMBERBUND
Oh man. I gotta get out of here.
ENTER THE PRINCESS ISABELLA, PLAYING WITH A GOLDEN BALL
CUMBERBUND
Well, here goes nothing.
SOUND EFFECT: BALL SPLASHING INTO WELL
ISABELLA
Oops! Oh no! My father the king will be much aggrieved with me. That bauble was made of purest gold!
CUMBERBUND
Hey! Princess! I can retrieve your ball for you!
ISABELLA
Who is it? Who dares to address me in such an impertinent manner? Show yourself knave!
CUMBERBUND
I beg your pardon your majesty, it's me. The frog sitting on the lily pad in the pond over here. No no, to the left. The left!
ISABELLA
Oh! I see you now. How may I be of service to you, you handsome creature?
PUDDLEFOOT (whispering)
Doin' great man, doin' great! I got your back if you need it, dude. Best wing man ever, right here.
ISABELLA
What was that?
CUMBERBUND
Uhhh... nothing, just clearing my throat. Like I was saying, I'll gladly get your ball back for you. And all I ask of you in return is one tiny little kiss.
ISABELLA
A what?!?!?
CUMBERBUND
Forgive me, your highness. But I must have a kiss.
ISABELLA
You did say "kiss", yes?
CUMBERBUND
I'm afraid so, highness, yes. That is my price.
ISABELLA
Oh whatever, I don't care about the stupid ball. You're cute! Hop up here and plant one on me big guy!
CUMBERBUND
Are you... are you quite sure?
ISABELLA
Absolutely positively certainly certain. Now hurry up and kiss me before I change my mind.
CUMBERBUND
Ummm... ok.
SOUND EFFECT: MAGIC SPELL BEING BROKEN
CUMBERBUND
What the...! You're a... a...
PUDDLEFOOT
A frog!
ISABELLA
Yes. I'm a princess of the neighboring Frog Creek Kingdom. When I came of age to marry, a wicked enchantress, jealous of my spellbinding good looks, cast a hateful curse upon me and turned me into the hideous, pitiful creature you saw before you only moments ago...
PUDDLEFOOT
You're not kidding... I mean with the dry crackly skin, and all that fluffy stuff coming out of the top of your head, and those tiny beady little eyes, and the hands... the hands...
ISABELLA
I know. You must have been terrified.
PUDDLEFOOT
Meh. More disgusted than terrified.
CUMBERBUND
I'll pretend I didn't hear that.
ISABELLA
Oh. You're still here.
CUMBERBUND
Yes of COURSE I'm still here! Your kiss was supposed to turn me back into a handsome human prince! And now it turns out you're a frog. I can't believe I actually had a crush on you this whole time. I had to psych myself up to even talk to you!
ISABELLA
Wait... you'r a human in real life? Ewww.
PUDDLEFOOT
I'm not!
ISABELLA
Mmmmm... no you aren't, are you? Too bad I'm only allowed to marry a prince.
PUDDLEFOOT
What a coincidence! I am a prince!
ISABELLA
Gasp!
CUMBERBUND
I can't believe this is happening.
PUDDLEFOOT(slurping up another passing fly)
Zzzzzaaaaap! Slurp. Mmmmmm. Black fly. Nice and juicy!
ISABELLA
My, what a strong, muscular tongue you have!
PUDDLEFOOT
You want me to show you what else it can do?
CUMBERBUND
Oh gross. That's it, I'm outta here. You two deserve each other.
SOUND EFFECT: FROGGY GODMOTHER APPEARING OUT OF THIN AIR
FROGGY GODMOTHER
Oh Isabella! I always knew you could find your way home. At last, all of your trials are over. See? I told you playing with that priceless gold ball near the old abandoned well would pay off, now didn't I dear? I give you both my blessing, and wish you a very happily ever after!
CUMBERBUND
Oh that's just too much!
FROGGY GODMOTHER
Oh Cumberbund! You too will find your way. But you must ask your own fairy godmother for help. Humans give me the heebie jeebies.
PUDDLEFOOT
I know, right? The dry skin?
ISABELLA
And all that hair...blech!
NARRATOR
And so we leave Isabella and Puddlefoot to their Happily ever after. But what of poor Cumberbund? Is there a happily ever after in his future? Tune in next time to find out!
©2018 Bennett Italia, all rights reserved.
Horizontal rulers courtesy @cryptosharon
You are so busy - jumped back into Steemit with both feet. Still hoping you show us some of your NaNoWriMo stuff 😄
(marianne)
Hi Marianne! I know, I'm overcommitted at the moment... Chapter 1 finally posted tho, just now. And clearing an actual couple days off to catch up this weekend :)