[SARCASM] A Conversation with a Flat Earth Believer

"Earth is Flat"

Every time someone states this seriously, I imagine our ancestors crying inside and face-palming while watching the “Weekly Ground Report” in the best bar of heaven, playing cards, sipping beer and laughing at the doomed humanity.

At first I thought the legends at Flat Earth Society were just trolling us (I still hope they are) because I refused to believe someone can be this stupid, but then, after some research I found they are pretty serious about it. They have books, videos, conferences about the flat earth. So here is a conversation with a believer (just a little exaggerated):

Do you firmly believe earth is flat?
Yes, flat like a pancake.

So it’s not round, or cubicle, or shaped like a banana?
How can earth be shaped like a banana? What are you, stupid?

And there is wall of ice surrounding the edge?
Yes, like a boundary, created by the almighty so we don’t fall from the edge. Where do you think George RR Martin got his inspiration from.

So why there are no pictures of Wall of Ice or edge of the world?
Because they don’t let us, many have tried but they never returned.
The wall is guarded by armed soldiers and ships; The members of illuminati are hiding inside the wall. They capture you and sell you to aliens.

Aliens? There are aliens on the earth?
Of course. It’s a universal fact, known all around the globe.

How do you explain day and night?
The sun is not as big as you think. Its smaller and closer to the earth and it lights up the different parts of earth according to God’s will.

There are many images available where we can see the slope of earth or even with naked eye when we are above a specific height. What do you have to say about that?
Well I don’t believe in images or videos because lenses are round, so the picture is round. And the images of earth provided by NASA are heavily photoshopped and clicked using fish’s eye effect.

Now about the naked eye thing, there is a little science to it. The farther we look the more the gravity pulls our sight, so we can’t look farther from a specific point.

Thank you for your precious time.
Always a pleasure to inform a fellow believer.

(SHOOTS MYSELF)